


Crawling back to you.

by hawktasha



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, Multi, Zutara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawktasha/pseuds/hawktasha
Summary: College. That institution that brings you joy and hope, but at the same time fills you with fears and insecurities.After seven months, Katara comes back from her internship in Europe. She has friends, she was happy.𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝒔𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴, 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘵?
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 35





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello; this is my first attempt in ages to writte something longer than #1 issue, so comments and kudos are really appreciated.  
> I hope you enjoy reading it as I will assure you I will enjoy writting it and plasming uncountables headcanons down.
> 
> Also,, english it's not my first language, so if there's any propper mistake (grammar, vocabulary) which I think there aren't, feel free to point it out so I could edit it out.

_ Here we go _ ; Katara thought for herself as she entered through the residence doors. That was it, she finally had made it. 

Yeah, it wasn’t her first time down those corridors; and it wasn’t her first time either as a college student. Damn, it was her fucking second year at university,  _ why the hell was she so nervous about? _ Yes, it had been a different year for her. It had been difficult and exciting in equal parts. And it had been  _ refreshing  _ and  **nostalgic** and a lot of words more Katara could spend a whole night enumerating. But that was it, it had been a  _ change _ ; and she was sure as things changed for her, they must have changed for her friends back there.

_ How would everyone be? _ Yes, they wrote each other back and forth on a weekly basis; but there were a lot of things you cannot explain in letters,  _ can you _ ?

Suki kept her informed about everything and anything, and so did Sokka. Even though most of Sokka's emails were about his huge  _ crush _ on her beloved friend or how he couldn’t deal anymore with his roommate and his crazy sister; which fun fact, turned out to be Suki’s new roommate. 

Aang did his part as well, but it didn’t feel relevant. She couldn’t wrap her fingers about why, but those late months she kept wasting her times watching silly videos on youtube or reading stupid fanfiction online just so she could avoid answering the boy. Or better said, delay it.

Suki tried once to make an interesting point about the _reason_ —she thought convincely— was behind her behaviour, and so did Toph; but Katara knew they weren't right. They **couldn’t** be right.

They've been together since the brunette could remember, but they never got long distance until she decided to take that european internship.  _ Damn it _ , they didn’t even do a short distance before. During their high school years, even before they got together; it was a regular thing for Aang to go on holidays with Sokka and their dad.  _ Even Christmas _ . 

She was sure those stupid feelings would disappear as soon as they were together again. It was just the distance; she kept saying to herself. Maybe, she was trying to fool herself, but at least for this moment, it was working.

Her nervousness kept growing as she reached the halls, as she reached her bedroom’s door.  _ Everything can change in seven months. Everyone can forget  _ _ you _ _ in seven months. _

She moved her hand to the door’s handle, shaking those thoughts of her brain. She didn’t need them, not in that moment.

After taking a few breaths, calming herself and relaxing her muscles; she finally swung the door open. But she wasn’t prepared for what awaited her inside.

Initially, it was all dark. But the obscurity was soon gone when they got a look at her. At first it was the yelling what she recalled. Then all the familiar faces. The  **banner** that read ‘ _ Welcome Home, Katara _ ’ in irregular drawn blue letters. 

She could feel the tears forming in her eyes as everyone gathered around her. She could hear her sobbing against his brother's chest as he pulled her for a bear hug.  _ She wasn’t like that _ ; she said to herself. But deep down she didn’t care. She didn’t mind that she was crying in front of all her friends, because she had missed them so  **damn** much.

Suki took her luggage and threw it inside the room, then closed the door. Toph made a bunch of jokes about how she  _ smelled _ different and how she  _ felt _ taller or bigger and everyone laughed until tears reached their eyes as well. 

Suki talked a few minutes about how they smashed the rival university in the soccer final; and that, of course, unleashed Sokka’s stupidity.

“ _ It wasn’t that much of a  _ _ competition _ _ , anyway. _ ”

“ _ Excuse me? I’d love to see you try, Sokka. _ ” Suki bantered, her right brow arched.

“ _ I am  _ **_saying_ ** _ ; yes, girls  _ _ can _ _ play soccer, but boys are  _ _ naturally _ _ good at it. It was an easy game. _ ”

“ _ Oh,  _ **_oh._ ** ” Suki replied, biting her bottom lip. “ _ You say? It’s  _ **_funny_ ** _. I remember how you didn’t cut tryouts last year when you tried. In  _ _ fact _ _ , I remember you saying exactly the same right before I burst your ass in the field. _ ” She said victoriously. Sokka’s face reddened in embarrassment as he tried to come with an intelligent response. 

“ _ Well, to be fair. . . _ ”

“ _ Yes? _ ”

“ _ You were captain at the moment! It was  _ **_unfair_ ** _. _ ”

“ _ I  _ **_am_ ** _ captain at the moment, Sokka. And. . ., unfair? Captains try new players all the time. You were expecting a  _ **_boy_ ** _ , that’s the thing. And you got burned by a girl. _ ”

“ _ That’s not what  _ _ happened _ _! _ ” He shouted, almost pleading for her to stop. His gaze looking for someone to back him up; which he didn’t find.

“ _ I’m sorry to break your little ego,  _ _ boomerang boy _ .” She finalized, a satisfaction grin plastered in her face as she let out the last part.

Sokka’s eyes were now fixated on Katara, whose face fell in realisation of what just  _ happened _ .

“ _ You  _ **_told_ ** _ her  _ _ that _ _!? _ ” he cried, anger and frustration drawing in his features as he realised Katara just said to his  _ little _ crush the most shameful story from growing up. Katara didn’t get a chance to respond before he standed up with rage, leaving the room rapidly after. “ _ Whatever, I’m out of  _ _ here _ .”

The room fell quiet after he left, looks being exchanged back and forth, but no words being spoken.

“ _ I should go too, I’ve overstepped. _ ” Suki said no long after, leaving as well.

After that little bickering, conversation was channeled again to more tales about what de gang did in her absence. Some happy ones, some  **funny** ones.

Toph explained to a really focused Katara all the small and big intents Sokka made to get Suki to notice him, unsuccessfully.

“ _ What are you both talking about? _ ” Aang interrupted, shaking his head. “ _ Sokka doesn’t like her? _ ” There was a pause, a silence where both girls shared incredulous looks with each other, redirected back at the boy. “ _ Right? _ ” he insisted, causing both girls to burst a huge laugh, slightly laying down her backs on the floor. 

“ **_Really_ ** _? _ ” Toph spoke, almost breathless. “ _ And I am the blind one. _ ” she added, shaking her head trying to stop the laughter.

They kept with the exchange of memories, from time to time Katara shared some of her adventures too; both listening with interest. Time flew, and it was time for everyone to return to their unfinished tasks. Toph said her goodbyes to prepare something about a new club she was thinking of creating, even though that was  _ her _ room too.

So now there were Katara and Aang alone.  _ Oh _ ; the girl thought for a second,  _ right _ . 

With all the laughing and the surprise she almost  **forgot** , that was her  _ boyfriend _ over there. And they hadn’t seen each other for seven months.

“ _ I should go too. _ ” Aang broke the silence, his hand scrubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“ _ Yes, right _ .” She answered. For a moment, she could tell his face changed a little. He was expecting a different response. But truth be told, she had just come from a long trip, and she was  _ exhausted _ . There were also those intern doubts that made her feel anxious; she hadn’t time for that, not now.

They both got up from their seats, Aang walking in front of her to the door and she following.

“ _ I’d see you tomorrow. Gosh, I finally get to say that again! _ ” he said, opening the door.

“ _ Yes _ ,  _ yes you would _ ”  _ What was with the monosyllables _ , she reprimanded herself, shaking her head unconsciously. 

But he didn’t care about her dry response, or he decided to let it slip; leaning closer to her and dropping a little chaste kiss on her lips. He was gone moments after. But she, well, she for some reason couldn’t move a single muscle of her body. Her mind was  _ somewhere else _ , she knew. But where?

She wasn’t supposed to act like this, damn; she was supposed to react, to answer the gesture. But she couldn’t help not doing it.

It must be the distance; she reminded herself.  _ It’s still too early _ , she reassured in her mind. She got unaccustomed to it, that was all.

Minutes passed and she still couldn’t shut that part of herself that screamed something was  _ off _ . She wandered over the room, trying to shut her mind; when she accidentally thought of her brother.

_ Fuck _ ; she forgot he got mad because of her. Because of something she should have not said.

Almost immediately after remembering what happened just a couple hours before, she left the room with the selected direction in her mind. Her brother’s room. Even if he left with Suki, she was sure at that time he would have gone back to his room and sulk about it. It was what he normally did back when one of them stepped a line on a discussion.

She didn’t last long in finding his room, he wouldn’t shut up about which one it was over every email since the university wrote back with their assigned partners. ‘ _ Another time? How can I not have a different  _ _ partner _ _? Not even the room has changed! Always damn 518 _ ’ So there she was, in front of the room with a slightly crooked and gold sign that read  **518** on the male’s dorms. Just she didn’t get a chance to knock before someone bursted open the heavy wood.

From one second to another, Katara was left with her hand wrapped in a fist in the air in front of a non so happy girl she swear she did not see before. Or maybe she did and she didn’t remember, she had something that resulted familiar.

“ _ Do you want something? _ ” the girl asked rudely.  _ Who was she and what was about her  _ **_tone_ ** _? _ , Katara thought, a frown forming in her face.

“ _ I am Katara, and you are? _ ” she spitted her answer, almost angry. She wasn’t usually rude, but she couldn’t stand the way that girl was looking at her, talking like she was better than her.  _ She doesn’t even know me! Why is she like this _ .

“ _ Doesn’t mind, I’m leaving _ .” and just as the mysterious black haired girl answered, she did exactly that. Leaving Katara with the impossibility to respond, and the frustration of not having the last word caused on her. Shaking her head trying to compose herself, she entered the now open room waiting to find her brother and proceed with her apologies. She even got a speech prepared in the back of her mind which would have made impossible for the boy to not forgive her. 

But she was not prepared for what was coming. 

Once inside the room she scanned the  —almost too dark— space trying to find his brother; which for her surprise wasn’t there. Instead of him, she could glimpse the figure of another boy leaning over the opposite bed frame.

“ _ Who are you? _ ” a husky voice answered, taking her by surprise. Then, the eerie shadow stepped out of his place, standing up in front of her.

As it wasn’t really enough light, Katara couldn’t catch a proper look at that boy. But she could tell he was way taller than her, maybe even taller than her own brother. And that he was definitely fit. The few beams of light that entered from the street through the window illuminated his face partially. And even in that darkness, even when she could not get a full picture of the boy in front of her; she knew he was handsome. 

He looked a little tense, his hands barely retracting from a fist. Maybe it had something to do with the girl Katara almost crashed into at the door. Maybe they were  _ fighting _ .

“ _ Cat got your tongue? _ ” he insisted, making her realised she had been in silence for so long.  _ Watching him _ . She could feel her cheeks reddened, and she internally thanked god for the darkness that surrounded them. His ambarine eyes were plastered in her, waiting for response.

“ _ Ah, uhm. . . I’m Sokka’s sister _ .” she simply said; hoping he realised what brought her there.

“ _ I know. _ ”

“ _ You do? _ ” she was sure she had never seen the boy before, let alone spoke with him. And yes, maybe Sokka talked about her, but after how he described their relationship she didn’t imagine the two boys showing each other photographs of them and their families.

“ _ You two look quite similar _ .”

“ _ Oh no, we don’t _ .” she didn’t know why she reacted that harshly. Maybe because she was used to that  _ comment _ , and maybe too because she couldn’t see the similarities everyone  implied about them.

“ _ Anyway. . ., Sokka’s not here. _ ”

“ _ I can see that _ .”  _ Where was this attitude coming from? _ All this back and forth, this wasn’t her. She felt the nervousness cripping her muscles, yet she was playfully responding to his words.

A few minutes passed and none of them made a sound. She was feeling anxious with every second, but couldn’t make her mind up to say something.  _ Anything, c’mon _ .

“ _ You can wait here if you want _ .” it didn’t sound like an invitation, more like a courtesy call. 

She shaked her head, denying. Slowly turning her back on the boy, she reached back for the door handler; tilting her head lately back at him. “ _ Could you tell him I pass by? He got angry because of me _ .” She didn’t know why she said that, why she gave him any details; but he didn’t seem to care. Or at least, he didn’t say a word about it. He simply nodded, and then Katara was on her way to her room. Again.

She arrived shortly after, collapsing over her mattress. She could feel a pressure over her chest, tightness she could not explain.

Her mind helplessly wandered over the boy’s image once again, making her shake her head trying to block it. She did not know why she was thinking about him. Why she replayed the conversation back again in her mind before falling asleep.

But she did know one thing.  **That** boy was  _ nothing _ like his brother described him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you go; I would really like to signal that the Suki&Sokka conversation has been inspired from a modernAU fanart (from watermistress on tumblr) (in fact, the line that starts it it's from the fanart). I couldn't find a way to reach her since last post was from 4 years ago, so if somehow this reaches her I hope she won't mind I used that idea to adapt in here.


	2. Bonus scene: Back & Forth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus scene of Sokka's whereabouts.

Suki wandered over the campus surroundings trying to spot the boy. She had messed things up, she knew. But even if he didn’t want to talk to her, to look at her even; there’s no way she’d leave things that way.

She didn’t know how she let  _ that _ slip out. She had known for quite a time now, that little childhood story about the boy; and never thought for a second to leave it out in the open. It was her little secret, hers and Katara. Shared one night at late hours when both were so melancholic and sad wrapped in blankets while they watched some soppy telenovela neither of them understood.

She hadn’t meant to share it with the boy, much less with the group. But she got heated in the back and forth they usually share and didn’t realise what she was doing until it was late.

Sincerely, she wouldn’t blame him if he wouldn’t want to talk to her. Even if that story didn’t seem that shameful to her, even if she found it cute to know more about Sokka’s growing up.

_ Even if a part of her would hurt forever if she  _ **_lose_ ** _ him _ ; she wouldn’t blame him. She was the one to blame. She and her stupid mouth.

She was almost ready to give up,  —an action so unlike her— she almost thought as her gaze reached to her the tip of her toes in defeat. She was  _ giving up _ when she spotted a shadow, a well-built figure over the football field. She had no doubt whose image it was.

Sokka has always —as far as he knew him— had a solid body. He looked like the sport type boys even though he wasn’t as good in sports as he would like himself to be. Not as good as her. And deep down, even if their back and forth was at most time childless and unharmful, she knew it pinches a nerve when it twirls around her and her football.    
She knew, despite his kinda sexist comments, that deep down it was the frustration who talked. Maybe even mixed with a little pints of  _ failure _ . 

And now she'd just stepped over his toes and acknowledged that part of him he was so tirelessly trying to bury over the surface.

She nervously walked his way to the boy, now sitting over the freshly cutted grass. “ _ Can I sit? _ ” she muttered, almost in a whisper, afraid the acknowledgement of her presence would scare him away.  _ Again _ .

He didn’t look up, which she did understood completely, and just nodded. Now beside him, she could get a proper look at her face. His lips were pressed in a small line, his jaw pressed in a tense way. His chin was leaned over his knees, which he was hugging, pressing them against his chest. A small piercing pain grew in her chest at the image of the boy. He was  _ beyond _ angry, he looked. . ., well,  **sad** . She didn’t mean any of this to happen. She cursed herself in her mind for causing this.  _ Damn it _ , the last thing she wanted to do is making him  _ sad _ , for fuck’s sake. 

They stood in their place for some long minutes, just in silence. Looking at the grass, or the campus, or the sky. Whatever but looking at each other.

“ _ I’m sorry _ .” she finally said, taking a deep breath of chilly air. Hoping that maybe calmed her nerves right there. It obviously didn’t.

“ _ No.” _ he simply spitted, his hands no longer playing with his shoelaces. After a few seconds, that felt like hours for Suki —her face dropping to the floor because of his answer— his piercing blue eyes reached hers. “ _ I am sorry. I was a jerk _ .”

She didn’t realise she had stopped breathing until she left a huge sigh out of her lungs after the boy continued.

“ _ I was a jerk too. Maybe we can form a  _ **_club_ ** _. _ ” she answered not breaking the eye contact he initiated, her humour slightly up. Brushing her forearm in an edgy way, she continued with the speech she had thought on the back of her mind. “ _ Look, I really mean it. I overstepped. I shouldn’t have said that. . ., damn I shouldn’t even have known. I am truly, incredibly sorry Sokka. _ ” she left out a long deep breath as she tried to remember the words in her head, as she was trying to remember how to speak even. “ _ I. . ., I didn’t want to, damn it; I didn’t intend to make fun of you. Well, I did. . ., but not like that! Not because it’s something to be embarrassed for, cause it’s not. It just. . . _ ”

“ _ Could you stop babbling for a minute here, Suki? _ ” he interrupted, one of his usual smiles plastered over his face. His stupid kissable face.  _ Goddammit, stop it you idiot _ ; she thought, almost screamed internally at herself. How could he be smiling like nothing had happened, like he had just heard the most incredible joke in his life; when just a minute ago he looked so. . . devastated. Maybe she was a joke. It had to be that.

She shot a glare at him. Mad at him. Well, not exactly at him. Mad at the fact he interrupted her apology, mad that it was already difficult enough to find the right words without making a fool of herself —which she was not used to— and he dared to make fun of her attempt.

Ignoring the change in her look, he proceeded “ _ It’s okay, Suki. It really is. I get it. It was a funny comment, a funny story. Damn it, I  _ **_lived_ ** _ it, remember? I use to make fun of someone’s fool stories all the time. It just. . . it hitted close to home, okay? _ ” 

“ _ I know. _ ” she sighed, laying her arms down to the grass behind her, leaning over them. “ _ And just for the record, Sokka. I don’t think it’s a fool story. _ ”

“ _ You already say you’re sorry and I say it was okay, you don’t have to try to bring my mood up by spreading lies Suki. _ ” he answered almost too quickly, yet there was no anger in his voice. Maybe a little hidden sadness. He  **didn’t** believe her.

“ _ I am not lying, Sokka! _ ” That was it. If there was something that bothered the girl more than being beat up at the field was when people insisted she was lying. She  **never** lied. Not to her enemies, not to her friends or family. She was always upfront, being the first to pick up a fight if necessary. She tried to calm herself, her elbows finding now a rest over her knees that laid over the grass, her face buried momentarily on the palms of her hands. 

“ _ Then you must be confusing stories _ .”

“ _ I am not _ .” she muttered from her hiding place, now raising her head a little, tilting it in Sokka’s direction. “ _ I  _ **_do_ ** _ know the story, you dumbass. Your sister told me and, yes, maybe it’s now quite fuzzy because of the time that has passed or the alcohol we drank that night but I do  _ **_remember_ ** _. How while you were a child you used to play around your neighbourhood with a boomerang, not quite getting a hand in the technique, because you had a broken leg and couldn’t join the rest of the kids in soccer. How you hit your head several times with said  _ **_boomerang_ ** _. How your father laughed a little and he helped you master it, the last long summer you shared before he joined back the army. _ ” At some point she stopped knowing what she was saying anymore, she didn’t know where she got the courage to say all that; but before the fear and the shame creeped over her body again, she decided to follow her heartfelt monologue. “ _ And yeah, maybe it wasn't a regular thing to do for a child. Maybe  _ _ boomerangs _ _ are stupid for some kids, maybe the common thing was to play soccer. But you kept playing with your boomerang over the years because I know you knew it reminded you of your father. Because that way it felt closer. And  _ **_damn it_ ** _ , I know it hits close home! It was home, Sokka; I may be a little of a tomboy sometimes but I’m not stupid, you see? And it is  _ **_far_ ** _ from being a fool story; it’s, for a matter of fact, one of the purest stories I’ve ever heard in my entire life, fuck it! _ ”

She fell silent after that, her lungs almost drained of oxygen. He didn’t dare to make a sound, how could he when he almost heard his jaw crashed into the floor, mouth open. She didn’t dare neither to look at him, her eyes looking half to the horizon half to the opposite side from him.

He couldn’t stop the smile in his frame, nor could he stop the arm he wrapped around her shoulders so he could  _ feel _ her closer. She hesitated, but returned the hug short after. They stayed there for a while, his arm over her shoulders and her head slightly leaning over his. Just contemplating the night sky.

_ And damn _ . If he had any doubt before, they were shot dead after her words. It was that moment, that night. . .; when he realised he hadn’t just have a  **crush** over that girl

He was  _ head over heels, _ madly  **in love** with that woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably mention it now, so you know what this kind of chapters are about.
> 
> As I'll write the story, there's a few scenes and headcanons I've thought that didn't quite fit entirely in the plot, but are important subplots somehow (and to cute to forget about them), so think about these chapters as some kind of summer or christmas specials.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoy it! <3


	3. New beginnings.

The morning came before she expected. She felt like she almost didn’t sleep at all. But that was it, a new day. Time to recover from the lost times. _Or at least trying_ , she thought.

The morning went by smoothly, and somehow she found herself thanking internally to have ended in class with both Toph and Aang. After her reaction last night, she wasn’t sure she was ready to engage that conversation, or situation, that soon.

Before she could even notice, it was lunch time and she followed her friends to their usual table. There was some chattering, some laughs; but she wasn’t really paying attention. 

On the contrary, she found herself wandering with her eyes the long hall, searching for the mysterious boy in the shadows. It didn’t cost much effort to found him, though. He wasn’t really the type that blended in, she thought when her eyes pasttered in his figure.

He was wearing black tight jeans, maybe too tight for her liking, ripped at his knees. An oversize red hoodie above them. And damn, even with that little effort, his casual look; she felt her heart sank a little in her chest. 

“ _Katara, are you listening?_ ” Sokka spoke, breaking her little bubble. “ _What are you even looking at, sis?_ ” His gaze followed hers and she felt her cheeks reddened. 

“ _No… nothing._ ” she stuttered, biting her lower lip afterwards noticing how unconvincing her tone was.

“ _Yeah, sure. . . Wait!_ ” his eyes narrowed, now staring back at her. “ _Are you staring at Zuko!?_ ” he asked with a squeal.

“ _Lower your voice, Sokka!_ ” she said a little higher than before, internally wishing earth would open under her feet and swallow her. “ _And no, I_ **_wasn’t_ ** _staring._ ” Although she was definitely doing it. “ _I. . . I was lost in thought._ ”

“ _You were definitely staring._ ”

“ _No, I wasn’t!_ ”

“ _Yep, sure sis._ ”

“ _I was thinking, Sokka! Y'know? That thing people use their brains for? Not that you use yours obviously…_ ”

“ _Oh, you did not._ ” he smacked his hand at the table, making Suki jump a little and Toph placed her hand over her face, bored over the conversation. 

“ _Yes, yes I did_.”

“ _Guys. . ., who is Zuko_?” Aang interrupted before Sokka could give Katara a counterpart, making both siblings look at the freshly new participant of the conversation.

“ _Just my stupid roomie. I thought you knew him_ . _His crazy sister is in your course._ ” 

“ _Azula is not crazy_ .” Now it was Suki who spoke, all gazes plastered in her, even Katara’s. “ _I mean, she’s not_ — _that_ — _crazy_.” she muttered.

“ _Are you kidding? Have you ever spoken to her?_ ” Sokka asked unbelievingly.

“ _Ahm, yeah. She’s my new roommate, remember?_ ” she spitted back, her brow arched.

“ _Okay, I don’t know what have you hit your head lately but that’s not what we were discussing here._ ” His brother spoke again, waging his hand in the air. His eyes were back on Katara’s. “ _You. Speak._ ”

“ _I told you, I was thinking. Which, speaking of Zuko. . ., would you mind telling me where you were last night?_ ”

“ _Wha-- what do you mean, Katara? I was in my room obviously._ ” He felt his cheeks reddened, which he tried to cover. He was there, eventually. 

“ _Yeah, try that again. Wanna know why I was_ — _according to you_ — _staring at Zuko? Because I’ve met him yesterday. In your room. Where you weren’t._ ” she spoke slowly, savoring every word. “ _So now who’s hiding something_ , _big bro?_ ”

“ _Aha! So you admit you are hiding something then._ ”

“ _It’s a form of speaking, Sokka. Now. Spill._ ”

“ _I- I. . ._ ”

“ _He was with me, Katara_ .” Suki said, taking a sip of her drink. “ _I had to apologize about. . ., well, about what happened at your welcome party. We stayed outside campus for a bit and then went back to our dorms. You’ve must missed him_.” Her voice was calm, but with every word Katara could feel his brother tense up. She wondered what had happened. Damn, if Suki wasn’t her closest friend and if she didn’t seem so calm talking about it she could have sworn his brother finally made a move on her. She would have to wait to know more, she guessed.

Finally, peace seemed to come back to the table; allowing Katara to properly enjoy her meal and some of the chit chat that went along. Or at least she did, for a ten solid minutes until his brother howled again.

“ **_Fuck it_ ** _, the party!_ ”

“ _The what now?_ ” Katara asked.

“ _Today! There’s a welcome party at one of the fraternities. Everyone is going! We have to go, guys!_ ”

“ _How can it even be a ‘welcome party’, Sokka? The semester started over a month ago._ ” Aang asked with confusion.

“ _Fraternities parties take time, dummy._ ” Sokka vaguely responded, to which Aang just frowned.

“ _He_ **_means_ ** _they schedule the parties so every fraternity takes a weekend to welcome their recruits._ ” Suki answered, giving Sokka an eye roll.

“ _Whatever, Suki._ ” Toph intervene. “ _I don’t care about their stupid technicalities. I just want to know you’re positive about it and we are going_.” She finished, waving her fork in their direction.

“ _Of course we are!_ ” Sokka answered, jumping with enthusiasm from his seat. “ _Right, guys?_ ” Aang and Suki slowly nodded, so his attention focalised in Katara again. “ _Katara?_ ”

“ _Uhm. Sure, Sokka_.”

“ _Yes, guys! The gang's back together!_ ”

His words now caused a group eye roll, which only amuse him and make him chuckle.

So party time it was, Katara though. _This may ease things a little, put them back in their regular path._

Yeah, because, what —ever— goes bad when alcohol and hormones are involved?

* * *

  
  
It was already dark when Katara made her way to the party. Toph, Suki and herself had decided to go separate from the boys, this way the girls could skip the part of the night where they would only complain on how long it was taking them to be ready for the _jaw dropping_. Or that’s what Suki said, anyway.

The building was crowded with young people, some of them already intoxicated with the free drinks. She adjusted the end of her blue skirt with nervousness, doubting about if it was really a good idea to have accepted to go. She used to be more confident, but right now she felt like an impostor. Like all those months far from there had erased her completely.

It was a stupid thought, she knew; that’s why she hadn’t said anything about it. But the feeling was still attached to her, and it only increased the pressure she felt on her chest with every step they took near the entrance. 

_Nothing a drink or two wouldn’t help_ ; she convinced herself. Maybe, with liquor in her system, she could forget all of it and just relax and enjoy herself. Yes, that was it.

Once inside the house, the noise was huge. If it looked packed from the outside, now it seemed like there were hundreds of people, even when Katara knew it was impossible to fit that number inside of the place. The voices, the music. . ., it made her feel a little dizzy, a little lost; but she had no time to sulk about it because Suki was already on her way to the middle of the dancefloor.

“ _Where is she. . .?_ ” she tried to ask Toph, but she didn’t listen, or she just ignored her; and was following Suki on her path.

Frustrated, she joined the girls and followed them, trying to catch up with her speed. She found them short after, standing in front of the rest of the group.

“ _Katara, you look so beautiful!_ ” she heard over the music at the moment she arrived, Aang’s eyes plastered on her. She smiled shyly, tilting her head a little in the boy’s direction.

She did look beautiful. All Suki’s doing, of course. She had come to her room shouting and explaining why she should be looking her best for that party and how good outfits match good events and some stupidities. But after she finished helping her, she couldn’t complain at the _result_.

The election for the night had been a light-blue ledger skirt —maybe too short for what Katara used to wear— and a white crop top with a lace pattern.

She was about to say something back to him, when a squeal interrupted her.

Sokka’s eyes, now scanning Suki’s body, were broad open; his jaw attempting to separate from his face and drop to the floor.

Her choice had been a tight asymmetrical emerald dress, with a cut that left her waist uncovered in the front. A pair of high heels matching with it.

He was trying to speak, but no intelligible words came out, nothing more than babbling.

“ _Like what you see, dumbass?_ ” Suki was the one to talk, a great smirk painted in her face.

“ _Oh-- yeah. Sure. Wow._ ” He replied, yet without being able to speak properly, apparently. “ _I mean. Suki. . ., you look spectacular!_ ”

She bursted a laugh, then intertwined her arm with Sokka’s. “ _Oh, do I?_ ” she teased, arching her brow. Katara wished to record his brother's face, which couldn’t be redder even if he tried. He looked like he could pass away any minute now. 

“ _Ye-- yeah_.” he muttered, shaking his head a little.

“ _Cat got your tongue, silly?_ ” she laughed again, pressing her body even closer. “ _C’mon, let’s get a drink, it loose you up!_ ” she continued, now separating from the boy and dragging him over to where the drinks are. “ _Be back in a blink, guys!_ ” she screamed to them before their figures got lost with the rest.

That was Aang’s cue to come closer to Katara, his hand shyly looking for hers.

“ _Do you want to dance?_ ” he asked as he pressed his palm against the girl’s.

“ _Su-- sure._ ” she said, flinching a little with the touch but finally intertwining her fingers with the boy’s. “ _Toph?_ ” 

“ _Don’t mind me,_ **_lovebirds_ ** _. I’m going to wait for them to hopefully get me a drink so I can get through tonight._ ”

With a nod, Katara and Aang made their way to the middle of the room and started moving their bodies along the rhythm of the music. 

It felt good, Katara thought. Just her, moving and dancing and enjoying the time without having to second guess things. She wasn’t good at it, but she wasn’t completely bad. And it wasn’t like if someone was watching her besides Aang; everyone else in the room was partly intoxicated by now. _Or at least she thought that_.

There was a change of song, and then another. Katara couldn’t really count how much time had passed, but her feet were starting to beg her for a pause.

She was about to leave and find somewhere to rest a little when she noticed Aang’s hand curl around her wrist. She turned to him with a little frown in her temple.

“ _You’re leaving?_ ” he asked, puppy eyes in his face.

“ _I…, my feet are killing me. I need to sit for a while._ ”

“ _Katara! Just one more dance, we haven’t had any time for ourselves since you got back._ ”

“ _Aang, it has only been two days_.” 

“ _Pleeeeeease!_ ” he was nearly pouting, his brows curled in a small frown. 

“ _Okay, okay._ ” he jumped, excited with her response and the girl couldn’t help but chuckle.

With her mind focusing on leaving, and the conversation after; she hadn’t noticed the music had turned into a slow tune. She felt Aang’s arms circling her waist, and so she placed her arms symmetrically around the boy’s neck. She hadn’t noticed before the changes in the boy that was supposed to be her boyfriend. His body was still slim, but she could feel his shoulders got a little broader. He was also taller than how she pictured him, not much taller than her, but she remembered that in the past he wasn’t even to her stature whereas she was on heels. He leaned slightly to her, lips nearly touching her earlobe.

“ _I’ve missed you so much._ ” 

“ _I have missed you too._ ” The word ‘all’ balanced on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t say it. 

She felt his body separate slightly from hers, his eyes piercing Katara’s. A smile was all over his face, and before any of them said another word, the boy pressed his lips against the girl’s. This time was different from the other night’s. She didn’t flinch, neither acted cold. Opposite to that, she gave herself into the kiss. She could feel the smile of the boy again, this time against her lips, like he had been expecting her reaction for centuries. And somehow there was a truth in that, after all they have been apart for months.

But even if she missed him, even if she was indeed **kissing** him back; she couldn’t repress the feeling that something was missing. She couldn’t help thinking back at other kisses, about the conspiracy and the intimacy they shared; and she didn’t find it now. 

She was there, in the middle of a college party, kissing the boy she **loved** —or she thought she did, at least— and feeling empty. Like something was missing. 

And that was too overwhelming.

She broke the kiss shortly after, giving Aang a smile and then proceeded to find her resting spot. But she wasn’t lucky enough to find any seat available, so she just looked for an empty corner, or at least one that wasn’t as crowded as the rest of the party, and leaned against the wall. Taking her shoes off in the process.

She searched the room from her spot, trying to find her friends and watch them for a far, as she was just a stranger. She could see Aang made his way back to Toph, and for the short girl expressions, they were having some sort of argument. Or at least Toph was screaming, and Aang was just talking, which was a typical dynamic for both of them. She continued searching for her friends, but Suki and Sokka were nowhere to be found. She would definitely ask her friend after about details, because she was sure something was happening and she needed that information to mock her brother.

She leaned closer to the wall, crossing her arms over her chest as she left out a small sigh. That was the moment her eyes catched **him**.

She tried to pull her gaze away, but she couldn. Contrary, she found herself analysing every detail that she could about the boy. _Zuko_ , she remembered her brother said over lunch.

Now, with proper lighting, she could get a proper look at his features.

As she realised before, he was really fit, although not in a way like Sokka or the other guys in sport teams. He didn’t look like the sport type at all, he was too slim to fit it properly, but he was definitely muscled, she was sure about that. Or at least as sure as you can get from half a room of distance and barely arms at sight.

She scanned his face next. Even from afar, she could still feel the pierce in his eyes, the fury. It was like he had buried a hell inside of him and it could get loose at any time. 

He had a sharp jaw as well as his cheekbones. It seemed like his face was sculpted perfectly with a chisel. She noticed the _scar_ too. The night before, in the dark, she couldn’t see. Neither she was able at the dining room that morning, his left profile out of her sight.

But now she could, and for some reason she could not take her eyes from it. The reddened tissue covered his left eye and part of his left cheekbone. It looked like a burn, but again, at that distance that was nothing more than a guess. 

She was so focused on examining the black haired boy and his features she didn’t notice the presence beside her until she was taken out of her trance.

“ _Staring again?_ ” Suki asked while laughing, two cups of some brownish liquor in her hands.

Katara felt her cheeks turning red as she turned to face her friend, shaking her head in an exaggerated way.

“ _What!? Absolutely not, Suki._ ” 

“ _He’s hot._ ” she stated, ignoring Katara completely.

“ _Who is?_ ” Katara asked, trying to avoid the conversation completely and what the girl was trying to imply.

“ _Ahm, who is hot? I dunno, Katara. Maybe…_ ” she said arching her brows, slightly pointing at Katara’s roommate with her index finger and then back at her. “ _Maaaaybe the boy you were eating with your eyes just seconds ago._ ” 

“ _It wasn’t like that!_ ”

“ _Oh, so how was it then?_ ”

“ _Y’know I have a boyfriend, Suki._ ”

“ _First of all, that you’re taken doesn’t mean you don’t get to look at the goodies in the store._ ” she stated, rolling her eyes. “ _And, secondly; you and I know that your boat is already sinking._ ”

“ _Suki!_ ”

“ _Okay maybe I know and you’re still in the denial phase_.”

“ _That’s not true. You know I love Aang_.”

“ _I didn’t say you don’t, Katara. But you can love people in no romantic ways too._ ”

“ _Enough!_ ” she said partially spilling her drink, now in her hands and not in Suki’s, on the floor. “ _I’m sick of this, Suki. I don’t need your opinions about_ _my_ _relationship. I don’t need you planting doubts in my head so you get to be right. I’m leaving._ ” she said, almost shouting, and then she swallowed her full drink. The liquor burned in her throat but she didn’t mind. That was exactly what she needed right now. She started to walk from the girl when she tried to stop her.

“ _Wait, Katara! Where are you going?_ ” 

“ _I need a refill. And I definitely don’t want to start a fight right now._ ”

And as she spoke, she just made her way to the kitchen to find something that would numb her mind. She knew Suki wasn’t that far from the truth, she knew it was a matter of fact that she was just fooling herself. But she didn’t want to think that, not now, not there. She didn’t want to start wondering again about what she wanted or didn’t want, or who she loved or didn’t love. She didn’t need that now. She went there to have fun, so she would have fun.

She had lost count of how many drinks she had had, or how much time had passed since she lost her friends; but she didn’t mind. She didn’t want to see Suki in her state because she knew she would probably only make things worse, and she was sure she wasn’t ready to see Aang for the same exact reason.

So she just danced, and drank. She bounced from one side of the dancefloor to the other, no thoughts in her mind. She was calm, finally, or so she thought; until some yelling burst her recently formed bubble.

She turned against the sound just to see a petite girl being almost ambushed by a taller one with a fiery gaze. She looked like the kind of girl you want to stay away, the kind of girl that screamed **trouble**. Next to her, there was Zuko, poorly trying to calm her down. And so were there other two girls. One completely dressed in pink looking as she was about to cry, and the other one completely in black with a still face. She was the girl she stormed up when he tried to find his brother the other day.

She hadn't much time to analyse the situation, or what was happening, before she catched the black amber girl throwing her drink at the petite one. She, surprisingly fast, ducked; causing the content of the drink poured all over Katara, who just froze, her gaze moving confused from the scene to her clothes.

Feeling like a lost puppy, she didn’t waste a second and leave the room, wishing she could just vanish from existence.

  
  
  
  


  
  



	4. Killjoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I've been thinkin about an idea for a long time and I wasn't really sure of whether really make it real or not. . . but I finally decided to do it.  
> In this chapter, a new character would be -slightly- presented. It's an OC that has a lot to do with Zuko and Azula's backstory, and even if in this precisely chapter there's not much of her, in the future you would see more of her story and why she's kind of important for the siblings.

Zuko hated parties.

It’s not the event itself, or what it’s supposed to happen in them; but the people who assist them. He is not a sociable person. He does not see himself as an introvert, but he has a few friends.  _ Scratch that _ , he has no friends. 

The only reason why he is stucked at that stupid fratternity is because his sister and her friends, which are the only people who really seem to be fine with talking to him, so he tried his best and accepted to go. 

He wasn’t in the best mood either. After one night of apparently amazing sex, her  —not-sure-how-to-call-her— Mai decided to go rogue on him and they had a huge fight. Again. He was getting tired of that thug of war they seem to be playing since they made out for the first time two years before. He cared about her, he really did; but in a friendly way. Both of them had established that the nature of their relationship was the  **sex** , and yet lately they had been looking like and old married couple. Like his parents.

He hated it. But he hated even more the fact that she seemed not to care or remember any of the fights the moment they finished. He valued her friendship, and he knew at one point he would have to talk to her.

_ Maybe the liquor would give him courage tonight _ , he thought.

Time passed by, and so did the drinks. Even if it was his third neat whiskey of the night, he didn’t feel the usual dizziness of being drunk, or the lighthead of being free of thoughts. He tried to reach Mai a couple times, but she dodged him at every try. Eventually, Ty Lee went to comfort him and try to make him feel better, but he knew her real mission was to keep things calm. And it was requested by his beloved sister, Azula. If anyone got to make a scene, it had to be her. She was  _ Queen B _ afterall, or at least she thought that.

With exhaustion, he let Mai go —he would find another moment, he supposed— and joined the little chit chat the group of girls have formed. They were talking about a series of trivial things, followed by some gossiping and some other staff Zuko didn’t get and wasn’t really interested in truly understanding. His gaze flowed from his drink to the crowded room, and back to his drink again; which he then would take a gulp of. Sometimes, his eyes catched up with some familiar faces in the mass of people, mostly classmates, or no familiarities at all. Once or twice he saw his chatty roommate with his eyes glued on a girl — _ That must be the infamous ‘Suki’ he won’t ever shut up about _ — and surprised himself secretly rooting for him. Once or twice he felt some people stare at him too, making him slightly uneasy. But he was more than accustomed to it. He was aware of what laid in his face. The mark he had to carry shamelessness, even though it only reminded him of his pain and disgrace. There were plenty of rumours about it, but none of them close to the truth. Nor did he care. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about the incident, no one besides his family and the cops and the firefighters and. . .,  _ well _ . No one for the last  _ fourteen _ years. 

He turned to the peepers with a scowl, making their gaze turn immediately to an opposite spot. He was about to go for a refill when something in the corner of his right eye —his  _ good _ eye— caught his attention. 

For a moment, he could have sworn the girl he strangely met in the inside of his room the previous night was  _ also _ looking at him. He paused for a moment, his amberine eyes fixed in the woman for a second, and then he did know. She was looking at him.

But unlike everyone else, he didn’t see pity in her eyes. Nor he did see shame, or curiosity or laughter. And yet he only caught her sight for a few seconds before she turned to speak to her friend. That Suki girl.

He wanted to face back at his group, but for some reason he couldn’t begin to explain even if he tried, his gaze was  _ drawn _ to her. In the dark, he could only see enough to recall a similarity with his roommate Sokka, concluding she was his sister. But at that moment, with the light of the party; he could get a proper look of every inch of her face.

She was glowing. Her almond skin contrasted with the colours of her attire, which embrace every inch of her body in an almost impossible and perfect way. He could feel him drool, and he didn’t understand  _ why _ . She was  **beautiful** , but this wasn’t the first time Zuko had seen a beautiful woman; and yet his reaction, the feeling he had in his chest, made him feel like he was some fifteen years old teenager. Her face was rounded, chiseled by a little sharpened chin and decorated by the bluest and biggest eyes he swore he had ever seen. He felt like he could stare at her for hours and never get tired of the  _ extraordinary _ view.

However, before even he could place that thought in his mind he suddenly caught a flinch in the figure he was admiring. And a few seconds after, he felt her gaze on him as her as her acompaniant’s, making him turn back —maybe too abruptly to be subtle—. A few minutes after almost being busted being a creep, he couldn’t help but glance again in her direction. Just to see the corn she was leaning a moment before  _ empty _ .

He didn’t leave himself feeling disappointed,  _ why would he anyway _ , he thought; and made his way to the kitchen looking for a refill.

That was, practically, how his night went. Drinking a sip of the brownish liquor from his cup, listening to some gossiping from his sister and her friends, and sometimes enduring one or two pep talks and overjoyed speeches from Ty Lee. The night was almost over, and he was counting the minutes to finally  _ leave _ , when  **hell** was unleashed. Or better said, when his sister did one of her doings.

He was close to the door when he heard the shouting and without even consider other possibilities, he set his gaze in his sister, who was now red in anger, her right hand clasped around her glass to the point her knuckles were becoming to turn white and her left pointing at some shorter girl in front of her. With an exhausted sigh, he made his way back to the group when he caught the supplicant eyes of Ty Lee on his and the uncomfortable shrug in Mai’s shoulders. They wanted back up, even though Zuko didn’t know what they were expecting him to do. He wasn’t precisely the best person to call if the goal was to ease Azula’s nerves. As he was approaching the rage outburst that was his sister, he started to wonder who the hell was the  _ other girl _ or what possible thing could she have done to make her sister react like that. He had only seen her lose her temper —that hard— when it was directed to him or, on a few occasions, to Ty Lee and Mai when she was feeling betrayed.

Once beside her sister, he realised why. It only took one look at the shorter girl, one simple glance, to figure out her outburst. Even after those years, she looked exactly the same. Yes, she had longer hair, and the scar over her upper lip was practically invisible; but she was still the same girl that ran away from the hospital once she was released without turning to look back at him or Azula, without even thinking about writing to them or visiting them. Nor that he blamed her. His sister. . .,  _ well _ , she was obviously another case.

“ _ Fuck _ .” it was the only thing that came from his lips. A mutter. But even if he had screamed it, he was sure none of the girls would have noticed. The argument was far from heated, and Zuko wondered how much time would it take to any of them to start actually fighting. Apparently, not much, because as he was thinking about it Azula had taken her cup in her hand and threw the content of it over the girl. The boy could only stare in panic, and from all the possibilities he thought might happen next, he didn’t expect the brunette to duck so quickly, nor the liquid soaking a familiar face.  _ The girl in blue _ . The next seconds happen in between a blur. He saw her sister rampage her way out of the back door, Ty Lee and Mai following close and the shorter girl stare in confusion. Debating if she should follow them or not. 

At the same time, he caught the blue-eyed girl’s reaction, how her face flinched in hurt and embarrassment, and how she bounced uncomfortably during a couple seconds before she decide to flee —too— in the opposite direction.

Unsure yet of what to do, or even think, the not-so-stranger decided to step in the direction her attacant, his sister, went. Placing a hand over her shoulder, Zuko briefly stopped her.

“ _ If I were you I wouldn’t go there. _ ”

She scanned his face for a second, shaking her head a little and then released her shoulder from his grasp.

“ _ But you’re not me, Zuko. And this is my fault. _ ” she stopped for a moment, and continued. “ _ Look, I’d love to catch up, but if I wait more I’m gonna miss her. _ ” 

“ _ Fine Shira, but be careful. _ ” he said with a sigh. 

“ _ I missed you, both of you. _ ” she said, with the slightest smile.

“ _ I’ve missed you too. _ ” 

And with that little conversation, he saw her running to the door.

Drained from the fight and the memories that the sight of his old friend unleashed, he made his way to the dorms, internally wishing to have a peace night for once. But he didn’t manage to walk long before he saw a figure in the shadows, a small girl dressed in blue and white, her petite frame a little shaken.

Without thinking, he approached her, clearing his throat when he was closer so she won’t jump or get scared of his presence.

“ _ Wha-- _ ” she barely said, turning to him. She was sitting in the grass, but he could tell she was ready to leave any moment from now by the way she looked at him. They remained in silence a couple of seconds more, before he got the courage to talk.

“ _ Look, I’m sorry about that _ .” he sincerely said. She looked at him in confusion, playing with the end of her skirt.

“ _ What are you sorry for? _ ”

“ _ My sister. She. . . _ ” he continued, gesturing with his hands the scene that occured just a few minutes before.

“ _ Oh _ .” her eyes looked a little puffy, but her body seemed less tense, a little calmer than when he first approached. “ _ It’s nothing, really _ ,”   
“ _ Doesn’t seem like nothing _ .”

“ _ I’m a little shaken, that’s all. It’s not your sister’s fault, not entirely either. _ ” he stared in disbelief, and she seemed to notice by the next statement she shared. “ _ I got in a fight with a friend. The drink spilled is just the tip of the iceberg _ .” she added a smile with her quote. A smile, not a truthly real smile; but even if it seemed forced, Zuko couldn’t help but to slightly smile in return. He couldn't think the last time he had a similar gesture in his face, but it came natural. 

“ _ I should go and find her. _ ” she talked, making the boy realise he was just staring in silence. “ _ My friend. _ ” she clarified, adjusting her outfit nervously once she stood.

“ _ Oh right. _ ” He almost forgot he was on his way to bed,  _ almost _ and just because he was talking to her.  _ What the hell, Zuko _ . She was already walking past him when in an urge —that he couldn’t not understand where it came from— he placed a hand over her shoulder, stopping her. 

“ _ Wait-- I. . . _ ” Then he realised he didn’t even know her name. “ _ I-- I didn’t catch your name the other night. _ ”  _ Smoothe, really smoothe; _ he thought.

“ _ Katara. _ ” she said, her eyes piercing his with slight tones of confusion and what Zuko thought might be amusement.

“ _ Okay, yes. Katara. I’m-- _ ”

“ _ Zuko _ .” He couldn't hide the fluster in his features when she said his name, which only made the girl burst in laughter. “ _ You’re my brother’s roommate, remember? _ ” At the clarification, he could feel his cheeks turn a little red, and he had never been so thankful of being in the darkness.

“ _ Oh, yes. Sure _ .” he scratched the back of his neck, thinking how to speak the next words. How to say the reason he stopped her. Yes, knowing her name was a  _ bonus _ , otherwise he would have continued referring to her as ‘the girl in blue’ —not that he thought he was going to be referring to her—, but it wasn’t the main reason for stopping her. Taking his jacket off, he handed it to her, but before he could say a word she stopped him.

“ _ No, no. I can’t _ .” she said, but even if she was rejecting the gesture, she still grasped her hand around the fabric.

“ _ Look, you’re soaking wet, and I don’t recall seeing you with any overcoat _ .”

“ _ Oh. I didn’t place you as an observer. _ ” she teased, her brow arched. That’s when he realised the weight of his words and what layed underneath them.  _ Shit, she knows you had been watching her you idiot _ , he thought. But against all odds, her hand tangled around the clothe, taking it from his hand and placing it over her shoulders.  _ Damn, the leather looks  _ **_great_ ** _ on her _ . He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts when she spoke again.

“ _ Just because I’m soaking wet, okay? _ ” she said with a broad smile, her lashes batting slightly at him.  _ Was she flirting with him? _ No, it couldn’t be. She was just being nice.  _ Stop thinking nonsense, Zuko _ .

“ _ Okay. _ ” he answered, mimicking her smile. “ _ Take good care of it _ .” he finally said, turning his back on her.

“ _ Wait! You’re leaving? _ ” she almost sounded hurt. 

“ _ Hm. . . yes? _ ” he responded, giving her a little look over his shoulder. 

“ _ Oh, but. _ ” she bited her lower lip lost in thought, then fixated her eyes on his again. “ _ Your jacket? _ ”

“ _ Oh. Don’t worry. _ ” he shrugged, scratching his neck again. “ _ You know where I live. _ ”

That last sentence made her laugh, briefly, and Zuko couldn’t understand what she had found funny. But overall he couldn't understand why the sound of her laughter made him slightly dizzy.  _ Must be the whiskey finally kicking off _ .

“ _ That I do. _ ” she finally said. “ _ And thanks. Have a good night, Zuko. _ ” And just as he answered, she turned her back and started walking to the house full of drunk people. 

He sighed and did the same, with a different direction, to his dorm.

* * *

It was in the middle of his sleep when a crash made his eyes abruptly open. Brushing his palm against them, he could see two figures in her doorframe clinging to each other, one of them barely standing to their feet. That, he supposed, had caused the noise.

They stumbled their way to his roommate's bed and the bigger shadow collapsed against the mattress. " _ C'mon Sokka, give me a truce! _ " a femenine voice whispered.

" _ Need any help? _ " Zuko asked, his voice a little rough in his throat.

" _ Oh, sorry. No, no. I got this. _ " he could feel her eyes on him briefly, looking back at his roommate shortly after. " _ Damn you idiot, don't you dare puking again! _ " 

" _ There's a bucket in the bathroom _ .'' Sadly, that wasn't the first time any of them arrived that intoxicated so they just decided to buy a contingency plan.

" _ Tha-- Thanks _ " the girl muttered, storming to the room and coming back with the recipient. She was just in time, Zuko thought, because he could hear the gasping and the throwing seconds after. "Are you sure you don't want help?"

" _ I'm sorry, I really am. _ ” she said in an apologetical voice, and then she continued, like a command. “ _ Now close your eyes and go back to sleep. I’ve never been here. _ ” __

So he did.

  
  


* * *

  
  


After she felt the older boy turning on his bed and back to his sleep, Suki concentrated the poor amount of energy she had left on the body in front of her. 

She took his shoes off and accommodated his body over the mattress the best way she could given the circumstances. She looked for a blanket or anything similar and placed it over the boy once she found it, carefully sitting beside him, her back against the boy’s chest, while she waited for him to be finished. From time to time, and between discharges, she forced him to drink water.

Half an hour later, more or less, he finally stopped and sleep seemed to be taking over him.

“ _ You’re an idiot, you know that? _ ” she muttered, her palm brushing against the back of the nearly unconscious guy and her other hand lightly brushing his hair. “ _ I swear to you next time you even think of getting this drunk I’m going to kill you. No hesitation. _ ” she sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder.

He was calm now, no more shaking or gasping, and the vomiting seemed to have stopped.

After a few seconds, she stood from her position and took the disgusting bucket she had taken from the boy’s and threw its content over the toilet. Then, she tried her best to clean the remains without joining the actions of the now asleep —she hoped— boy. She retreated to the room and placed the metal container next to his bed, taking her heels next and turning to the door. 

“S-- Suki. . .” Sokka muttered, half asleep. She looked back just to see his right arm extended in her direction, trying to cling to the end of her dress. She couldn’t help but smile at the image. She closed the distance to the bed again, squatting next to his pillows. 

“ _ What is it, idiot? _ ”

“Stay.” 

The petition took her completely by surprise, almost knocking her to the floor. 

“ _ Sokka. . . _ ” she tried to speak, but his eyes fastly opened, pleading in his gaze. 

“ _ Pleeease. _ ” he closed his eyes the moment he was over speaking, but he got to place his hand in hers, holding it now close to his chest. 

With an exhausted sight, that turned to a following yawn, she nodded even if she was sure he wouldn’t notice it. “ _ Fine. _ ”

Against all she wanted, she let go the hold the boy had initiated and stood. Even if she had accepted, there was no possible way she could properly sleep in her clothes. Not in that room at least. Trying her best to not collide with anything or crash the room, she made it to the wardrobe she knew belonged to him and took the first t-shirt that seemed to be clean. Then, she slided gracely off her dress and put it over her, making her way back to the messy bed.

Cautiously, she climbed to it and rolled over the mattress to the tiny spot the boy’s body had left to her. He was facing the opposite direction, where she had been standing all the time before, and she used that advantage to relax herself and let a small smile paint in her features. With the confidence of knowing he was completely unaware of anything in his surroundings, she crawled closer to him and wrapped herself over the blanket she gave him, leaving a peak kiss over his shoulder.

  
“ _ Goodnight,  _ **_dumbass_ ** .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for your love and I hope you enjoy the chapter!  
> Looking forward to read your comments and opinions <3


	5. Falling short

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well,,  
> As I already said in the last chapter, there's a new character in the story whose background is tanggled with Azula&Zuko's past. In this one you could get a better sight of her (or better said understanding Azula's reaction at theparty) and I hope you like it! Also,, I'm not really sure how much she would really appear or how importance she may have down the story (as I write, I'm trying not to focus only in Zuko and Katara, but sometimes it's weird/hard because of the plot setting) as for the rest characters, but as I did in the past, hope for more "bonus chapters" to help you understand the growth of the characters and some side relationships I would like to explore!
> 
> Anyways,, thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a comment or ask any doubt you'll have in mind! <3

Katara walked down the halls of the male building replaying the events of the night before. Or at least, those she could remember vividly. She knew she got into a fight with her friend, but at the time she decided to stop drinking and look for her she was nowhere to be found. In fact, she was lucky enough to have bumped into Toph and Aang as they made their way to the exit and went to the dorms with them. She also remembered the weird in the look Aang gave her when he noticed the jacket over her shoulders, which made her unconsciously blush. _What the hell is wrong with you, Katara. How can you blush over a freaking jacket_.

She tried not to think too much about the party though, afraid she would remember something that embarrassed her. Like how she spent ten solid minutes just staring at the devilishly handsome boy who happened to be her brother’s roommate. No, she definitely didn’t want to think about that. Because in the moments she actually did that, still in her bed in the morning, she could feel the heat in her cheeks again and she didn’t want that. Or specifically she didn't want to think _why_ was that happening and what it could imply. She definitely had to find Suki and apologize, but overall, she needed, desperately, to get that out of her chest.

But first things first, she had thought; and that made her walk rapidly to the male corridor.

And even if she, stupidly, replay the scenario several times in her mind so she was certain she wouldn’t make a fool of herself, she wasn’t truly prepared for what she found behind the door. She barely knocked before she got an answer, a woman’s voice, and she let herself awkwardly inside.

But whoever she might think that voice proceeded from, she wasn’t expecting her best friend Suki to be sitting on his brother’s bed, wearing nothing but a pale blue tee she was certain belonged to her brother just by how oversized it looked on her. She was in the middle of an intense discussion with someone across the room, Zuko, about something she didn’t quite comprehend but assumed was music genres as the latter kept typing on his phone as the speaker’s tunes changed.

“ _Katara!_ ” she waved at her, oblivious of the confusion in her face, or maybe just ignoring it at all. Her companion, on the other hand, did seem to notice, and salute her with a simple nod and a shy smile.

“ _H-- Hi._ ” her eyes travelled around the room, from the girl to the boy and back again. “ _What-- Suki?_ ” she frowned, pursing her lips in a thin line.

“ _Oh. Yeah._ ” she scratched the back of her neck, a chuckle leaving her throat as she did. “ _Your brother got properly wasted last night. I barely manage to bring him here without being puked over._ ” 

“ _Oh_ .” Katara muttered, eyeing the girl. Yes, that seemed to explain some things, but not _why_ she was in his bed with no clothes on her. She was trying with all her energy to stop herself from running to the end of the bed and get all the details, glaring at her in defiance so she would say it by herself. “ _And?_ ”

Her brows arched in realisation, shaking her head as she tried to speak, making a sound in between a laugh and a growl. “ _And nothing, Katara. I’ve just spent the night. Someone had to supervise the idiot brother you have so he didn’t get suffocated in his own puke, right?_ ” she restored sarcastically, and just as she said it, his brother’s arm —which Katara hadn’t noticed being laid over Suki’s lap— strongly embraced the girl, pulling her back closer to his chest.

“ _Easy, sailor_.” she muttered with a chuckle, her hand lightly caressing his forearm.

Even though she said nothing happened, Katara coulnd’t miss the smile that had formed in her face while his brother mumbled something idiotic in his sleep as a response. She couldn’t help to think how _stupid_ they both were holding back instead of fucking confess their feelings already. But with all that, she also couldn’t help but smile herself at the picture.

“ _Katara?_ ” Suki asked and the brunette realised she was standing in silence over the frame door. 

“ _Oh, yeah. Sorry for bothering,_ ” she started, turning to the right so her gaze was now focusing on the black amber haired boy. “ _I came to bring you this._ ” she added, scratching her arm to try hiding her nervousness. “ _And to thank you about yesterday. You really didn’t have to lend it to me_.” She decided to finish, a shy smile on her face.

She decided to ignore the look Suki was giving her, but even if she did not look at her at all, she could swear her eyebrows were arched and her lips would have turned into a mischievous grin.

With her words, Zuko stood up from the edge of his bed and walked to her. She extended her arm, the one that was holding the leather cloth, while he got closer. It was a reflex, and she noticed she reacted way too fast, but it was already done. She chewed the inside of her cheek hoping he didn’t notice, or at least, he didn’t think of _why_ she did it. Because truth be told, she didn’t know either. (Or she didn’t want to know, _yet_.)

He didn’t take long to grab the other side of the jacket, waiting a few seconds before completely releasing it from her grasp. 

“ _I already told you not to thank me, you were soaking wet._ ” he teased her, making Katara blush, just as the night before. But in that moment she couldn’t confide in the darkness as it was already midday, and by the small chuckle that left the boy’s throat she confirmed he had noticed. _Was-- was he flirting with her?_ , she thought. She blinked a couple times before she could even get back at him with a proper response. _C’mon, Katara, put yourself together._ But as she tried to mumble her responde, she heard a sound behind her. Someone clearing her throat. She turned so fast she almost tripped over, but she felt something steady her. Or better said, _someone_ , as she realised Zuko’s hand was now pressed against her back. She felt her legs slightly tremble at the touch, begging internally to whatever Spirit would listen to her that her legs wouldn't betray her.

“ _Am I interrupting?_ ” A girl about her age asked. She had dark bags under her eyes and her hair was still wet. She was dressed in what looked like an oversized tracksuit, which made her frame look even smaller. But overall, she was still tremendously beautiful. She wished she had the confidence to walk over the campus looking like this and actually not look like a dogshit.

“ _Shira!_ ” he greeted her, his hand leaving Katara’s body —which made her feel a little upset ( _Tui and La, what was wrong with her?_ )— “ _Wait-- How did you know where I live?_ ”

“ _Your sister told me._ ” — _better said, she kicked me from her room the moment she was awake_ , but Shira wasn’t about to say that out loud— 

“ _Oh, right. C’mon in._ ” He gestured with his arm, still holding his jacket; moving aside so she could enter the room, which Katara felt getting a little too crowder. “ _Katara, Suki_ .” he said, turning his eyes to meet the both girls already in the room. “ _This is Shira. She’s an old friend._ ”

She took a few steps in, her eyes falling to the black clothing, a gasp escaping her lips. “ _Is this Lu Ten’s? I didn’t know you still have it._ ”

“ _Uhm, of course I have it. Why wouldn’t I?_ ”

“ _Azula told me you lost it. Well, that was a long time ago._ ” she bitted her lip nervously, staring at her feet for a few seconds, then facing Zuko again. “ _Look, I need to talk to you about. . . Well, about everything. You deserve an explanation._ ” she frowned. “ _I could come later, if you’re bu--_ ”

She didn’t get to finish before Suki jumped in, the t-shirt barely covering her legs, the fabric stopping at the middle of her thighs. “ _Oh, we were just leaving! Right, Katara?_ ” Katara turned just in time to see Suki rushinly picking her scattered belongings from the floor and running to her side over the door frame.

“ _Yes, we were._ ” she responded, thankful at the escaping gate her friend just provided. “ _I was about to grab something to eat, anyway._ ”

“ _Gosh, yes. I’m starving!_ ” And with that, her beloved friend grabbed her by the arm and pulled out of the room, barely stopping midway the hall shouting back. “ _Nice to meet you, Shira! Oh, and Zuko, tell Sokka we’re having lunch. He needs to eat something after today._ ”

“ _So much for the ‘I was never here’ speech, hm?_ ” he replied with a chuckle, which made Suki glared at him like she was about to throw a knife at his core.

“ _Shut up, you idiot!_ ” she screamed, again; this time not waiting for a response, continuing her jogging, pulling Katara with her. “ _Be fast! I don’t want to be seen like this!_ ”

* * *

“ _You look awful_.” Zuko said after the girl closed the door, keeping his voice down as his roommate was still asleep. Even though he doubted he could hear a thing even if they were screaming.

“ _Wow, thank you, Zuk! How charming and chivalrous you are._ ”

“ _I’m just stating a fact._ ” he teased, clicking his tongue while he made his way back to his bed and sat in his former position. “ _You wanted to talk?_ ”

“ _Yes, yes I did._ ” she responded, making her way to the middle of the room and taking her seat on the floor, her legs crossed in front of her. 

“ _You know you can just take the chair, right?_ ”

“ _I’ve always enjoyed the floor, Zuk_.”

“ _Yes, yes you did._ ”

A few minutes passed and none of them dared to say a word, the tension flowing through the atmosphere of the little and untidy room. Finally, the girl left out a profound sight, burying her face slightly against the palm of her hands.

“ _Look, Zuko. I’m sorry._ ” 

“ _Shi--_ ”

“ _No. For once in your life shut up and let me finish._ ” she stopped him, now her eyes looking at him. But even with her snap, her eyes were soft and pleading, they carried sorrow and he was well accustomed to that feeling. “ _I’m sorry I ran from the hospital. I’m sorry I haven’t said anything or told any of you where I was or what I was doing. Damn, I’m sorry I didn’t even tell you I was alive!_ ”

“ _It’s okay, Shira._ ”

“ _No, it’s not okay. You had nothing to do with the crash. You had nothing with my breaks being broken. You were nothing but caring and patient, even if it meant Azula and you could get in trouble._ ” He noticed the tremble in her voice and how she purposely avoided the word ‘ **accident** ’. He remembered that night vivedly, when both her and Azula where supposed to meet her at some stupid college party so she could get them home. How she never **could** because her car crashed against a fucking tree. The details were blurry in his memory, though. He remembered he had zoned out by the time the police explained the situation. Being frozen in one place, over the hospital halls, while his sister Azula was sobbing uncontrollably. _Damn_ , he had never seen her sister so affected. He was practically sure that was the last time he saw her show any emotion at all besides her usual **rage**.

But what made him the most _unease_ about her words, about what she was and wasn’t saying, was what laid underneath.

“ _Why?_ ” he asked, even though he already knew the answer. “ _Why did you run away, though?_ ”

“ _You know why._ ”

“ _No, I don’t. Neither does Azula. You said it yourself! You ran in the middle of the night. You ghosted us for nearly three years for Agni’s sake._ ”

“ _I was scared, Zuko!_ ” she said, raising her voice to the same tune the boy had used on her. 

“ _Why?_ ”

“ _You already know why._ ”

“ _Enlighten me._ ” he restored, knowing he wasn’t going to be pleased at her response at all.

“ _Ozai._ ” she simply answered, her eyes now focused in her hands as she played with the end of her sweatshirt’s sleeves. 

“ _You’ve got to be fucking kidding me._ ” 

“ _Zuko!_ ”

“ _We’ve already talked about this! My father would nev--_ ” he stopped mid sentence, not really sure if he believed his own words. “ _Why would my father have wanted you dead?_ ”

She noticed his doubts, arching her brows as she lifted her head a little.

“ _You’ve already considered it before._ ” she felt her body tensed up, and left out a small sight. “ _I was going to turn twenty-one, Zuko._ ”

“ _So what? He didn’t want you to grow up, Shira!?_ ”

She pinched her nose and he could see the rage taking over, but the girl managed to control herself as she spoke again, calmer than before.

“ _If I’m telling you this, it's because I’ve already burned every other possibility, Zuko. I know your father. His_ **_real_ ** _face. You know that I do. I suffered it in my own way._ ” she moved closer to him, crawling over the floor and changing her position so she was now sitting over her feet and in her knees, and then placed a hand slightly over his knee. “ _I was going to inherit it all. It was the deal. Some tutor would get a hold of my father’s business and properties until I was old enough to manage them myself. But the money… the money would come to me the moment I turned eighteen._ ” she stopped herself, breathing deeply as she continued. “ **_But_ ** _if I was out of the picture. . ., well, you get the idea, don’t you?_ ”

“ _It still doesn't prove why my father caused the accident._ ” he snapped, her voice harsher than he had expected. She flinched, but tried to control the nerves from getting over herself.

“ _My breaks were tampered with, Zuko. It wasn’t an accident._ ” she said so quietly he almost didn’t get the words. “ _You can scream at me all you want, you can tell me how wrong I am; but we both know you would be only lying to yourself. You remember the fire, our paren--_ ”

“ _Stop. Right there. Don’t._ ” he said as he felt his hands shake with the memory. “ _Don’t do this, not now._ ”

“ _I won’t. But my ‘_ **_accident_ ** _’. . .,_ ” she said with exaggerated quotation gestures in the air. “ _wasn’t the first._ ”

“ _I know._ ” he sighed.

Then, the silence came back to reign over the place. Her gaze was again plastered somewhere over the carpet, and he couldn’t bear to look at her while the images of that night played over and over again. He didn’t know how much had passed before she muttered again, her voice crackling.

“ _I’m sorry I didn’t reach you before. I really missed you._ ”

“ _Why now?_ ” This time, there was no anger in his voice, but simply curiosity. _Why now after all those years_.

“ _I got my money back. And I had to work with the law firm back and forth but I finally had the stocks from my father’s business in my hand. Even if I wanted to come before, I couldn’t afford tuition. I couldn’t even afford a fucking apartment!_ ”

“ _Whoa, whoa. Where were you living then?_ ” he didn’t know why he asked precisely that, in that moment; but the question left his lips before he could stop it.

“ _Promise me you won’t get mad._ ”

“ _More?_ ” he said with a brow arched, but in a teasing voice. Truth was, even after all her words and their meaning, he had missed Shira too much to hold it against her. More to that, he understood perfectly the fear she said she felt.

She gave him a stinky look which only caused him to burst out laughing. “ _Sorry, go on._ ”

“ _I’ve been staying with your uncle. He had helped me sort things out_.”

“ _You-- wait you were--?_ ”

“ _Yes, I am Jin._ ” she shrugged. “ _We figure out, with him being outstate and you two having so little time to visit that, if you actually came to Ba Sing Se we would have the heads up and I would simply hide._ ”

“ _He never--_ ”

“ _Don’t hold it against him, I insisted. He wouldn’t do anything to betray a promise, you know the old man._ ”

“ _Yeah. Yeah I do._ ” and with her statement, and the following stories about her time with his beloved uncle, he couldn’t stop to laugh. Damn, it was about time he laughed like that.

They had lost track of time and were absort in their own world of child tales down their memory lane when they heard something move in the other side of the room.

“ _Gu-- guys? What time is it?_ ” Sokka barely managed to say, twisting over the mattress he had collapsed the night before. “ _And what about the laugh, Zuko. That’s weird, you never do that._ ”

That only made them laugh harder, even if it was at his own expense.

In response, Zuko shoved his arm at him, not really sure Sokka was looking in his direction or not from his position, and remembered what his roommate’s little crush had said before.

“ _It’s lunch time, Sokka. And just so you know, Suki said you should join them to eat._ ”

* * *

“ _Oh, girl. Tell me everything._ ” Suki barely managed to say in between bites of her massive hamburger. She had dipped in the food the moment the server placed the dishes over the table. And even if regular Katara would have made a snide comment about it, hangover Katara was almost as eager as her friend was.

“ _It’s really nothing!_ ”

“ _My balls it’s nothing, Katara!_ ”

“ _He just lended me his jacket, nothing else._ ”

“ _Girl, you were drooling_.”

“ _I was not._ ”

Suki glared at her, her brow arched and his lips pressed in a thin line. Her classic disbelieving face. With an over exaggerated gasp, Katara rested her face over the flat wood, refusing to lock her eyes on her’s. _“Okay._ ” she gave in. And with that word, it began. The cascade of muttering and embarrassment she knew she was going to feel when she had to admit everything out loud. To her surprise, Suki didn’t interrupt her at any moment, letting Katara narrate the night of the party, and her side argument —admitting she was wrong, which made Suki really pleased—. Then she continued telling her inner thoughts, trying not to give too many details, and ended up admitting her doubts and insecurities about her current relationship. She didn’t know she would ever have the courage to say all that out loud; she had been so much time lying to herself, reassuring herself that everything was okay that she was surprised at how good she felt by just finally saying. She felt the pressure in her chest that had accompanied her for the past three days was a little lighter, she felt her body a little detense too. 

She was finished by the time his brother came over their diner table with a goofy smile, but Suki decided to rain check the conversation just in case something new came up. _Nothing new would come up_ , Katara thought, but nod affirmatively to her friend.

Sokka’s reaction to food was equal to the girl’s, jumping over his plate the second he got it and almost burning his throat as he swallowed his chicken wings.

“ _Uhm, so go--od._ ” he muttered. The girls gave him a massive roll of eyes, and laughed so hard they almost got in tears. 

They continued their chitchat, just changing the conversation to themes that would degradete Katara less; and also remembering and teasing Sokka about his black out from drinking too much. 

They ended their food soon, but they stayed in the diner longer. 

Finally, Sokka had decided to order more food, with a disapproving glare from both girls, when Suki took her leave. It was after a buzz made her phone light. A text.

“ _Sorry guys, I gotta go. Haru needs me for some tactic preparation or something._ ” Truth be told, she didn’t really know what the text meant. He kept saying the words “help” and “I’m having a fuckin migraine”.

“ _Haru, as strong-arms-Haru?_ ” Katara chuckled, remembering the boy from last year. She remembered that her first thoughts —which she obviously shared with both Toph and Suki— were how cute the guy was.

“ _Yes, that Haru._ ”

“ _You’re off to get fun, Suki._ ” she teased, jokingly.

“ _You know it’s not true, we’re just going to smash our brains talking about soccer and formations._ ” she responded, grabbing her things in a rush and leaving her part of the bill over the table. “ _But I wouldn’t mind either. He is a positive eight._ ” she added with a laugh, which spread easily to Katara.

“Anyway guys, see ya.” she said, sprinting out of the restaurant, with way more energy any single human being could possibly hold.

Still amused, Katara leaned over the back of her seat, grabbing some of her —now cold— remaining fries. She was back at being absorbed in her own feelings; she almost didn’t notice the change in her brother’s humor. _Almost_.

Leaning again, now in his direction, she reassured him in a murmur.

“ _Don’t you dare start sulking._ ” she said tugging his hand so he looked at her. “ _She likes you, Sokka_.”

“ _Yeah, whatever_.” He answered, shoving her hand and focusing back on his plate. Suddenly his appetite was gone.

“ _All you have to do is tell her how you feel!_ ”

“ _It’s not that simple!_ ”

“ _Sure it is._ ”

He glanced over her, not saying another word, and then focused on his milkshake. 

Apparently that was going to be harder than Katara expected, but she wasn’t going to lose hope.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also! I know originally I said Katara was studying abroad in Europe and now it's mentioned that Shira lived in Ba Sing Se. I know it's weird and it was /mainly/ a mistake of my own, but I do like the idea of Katara being in another continent (being really far from her family and friend) and the ATLA universe doesn't really allow me to.  
> So,, Ba sing Se (and maybe in a few chapters Ember Island) are just that, names of cities. Do not think of the setting as in the ATLA universe but as our own.


	6. Bonus scene: (un)solitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE END NOTES

After the long and needed lunch Sokka had shared with his sister and Suki, he made his way to his room. Even when he knew he had no right to feel _unease_ , he couldn’t help the feeling as it crept over his body. It wasn’t like the girl owed him anything, _damn it_ , he only confronted his real feelings a couple nights ago. And yet, he couldn’t help but feeling hurt. 

_It’s better this way_ , he said to himself when he left the restaurant. It was better to confine himself with his thoughts and some melodramatic music than face the conversation his sister tried to pull on him. She didn’t blame her. She knew both of them and she knew about his feelings _more or less_. At the end he was the one who couldn’t shut up about her in his emails when she was back in Europe. And she was also Suki’s friend, which somehow comforted him when she muttered those words back in the diner.

_Would I even stand a chance?_ , he internally wished. She didn’t cut him off his incessant flirting, and sometimes he even thought she flirted back. _But was she really_ — _flirting with him_ —?

He left a prolonged sigh out of his lungs while he crossed the frame door of his shared room, hoping to be alone with his thoughts for the evening. Obviously he was too oblivious to believe he could actually be _alone_ . Like his roommate was going to be out, _socializating_ . Any other partner maybe, but _Zuko_ ? Never. Sokka swore he could see him dying before seeing him talking with anyone but his sister and her —like he used to call them— _minions_. 

It wasn’t like he had anything against them, they seemed nice —maybe the taller and stoic girl, Mai, with her permanent frown; less than the other —, but as far as he was concerned Zuko’s sister Azula was scary as hell. The few interactions he had have with her he could feel daggers thrown from her eyes and he had no doubt she would murder him in his sleep if he’d ever defy her in some way.

But even if he expected Zuko to be already in the room, he definitely didn’t expect a girl being with him inside —besides his girlfriend, of course—. _Oh man, that was new._

He arched a brow in their direction, even if the girl had her back directed at Sokka’s and wouldn’t be able to see it and nodded as a salute. The black haired boy reciprocated his gesture briefly, and redirected his attention back at the girl. Sokka couldn’t have a proper look at her, but he was certain he hadn’t seen her around campus. Just as he made his way to his own bed, he catched her turning in his direction with the corner of his eye and smiled politely at him.

“ _Anyway, Zuko; I should probably go now. Thanks for the chat. . ._ ” she said as she stood up, carefully caressing her clothes in place. She was wearing what looked like a tracksuit, yet acted like she was wearing the most refined silk. _A confident girl, huh;_ he smirked at his own thoughts, _Zuko seems to have a type_ . “ _and please, talk to your sister. She would listen to you._ ”

“ _Have you forgotten Azula?_ ” he asked in disbelief, a small laugh leaving his throat. _Zuko, laughing?_ Sokka frowned confused. _Did I die and entered an alternative dimension last night?_

“ _I_ **_do_ ** _, Zuko. But she won’t talk to me at any cost so you have a better shot than I me._ ” 

The boy growled, leaning his back against the mattress and then sigh while raising again. 

“ _Fine. But don’t get your hopes up, Shira_.”

“ _Cool!_ ” she finally said bouncing in place for a few seconds, a big grin plastered in her face. “ _Then it’s settled_ .” she leaned closer to the boy and left a quick kiss on his cheek, then —almost— ran to the door and opened it in a rush. But before she completely crossed the frame, she turned once more towards the door, this time her gaze plastered in himself. “ _And… sorry for stealing your time. I hope I didn’t bother too much_.” she grinned and then disappeared into the hall.

Sokka didn’t have time to say she wasn’t bothering him at all before she energetically closed the door behind her. He let his gaze fly back to where Zuko was, his left brow arched. He seemed less tense than usual, even amused —at his own disbelief—. Sokka didn’t know exactly _why_ , but it seemed a good time for teasing him. Maybe try to talk to him, even. He had tried to do it sometimes before, but he usually just glared back at Sokka and kept doing whatever he was doing. But today… well today he looked human enough to at least _try_.

“ _I suppose you had a girlfriend_ .” he stated with a slight frown. “ _Wha-- wait._ ” he spoke confused, frowning. Then, as if he concluded what he was meaning with his question, he continued. “ _Firstly, if you’re talking about Mai, she’s not my girlfriend. And second, Shira’s nothing like what you’re implying._ ” He could almost hear the ‘Ew’ unspoken between his lines.

“ _Wait, did you guys break up?_ ” _Okay, you’ve just screwed up, Sokka. Classic._

“ _There’s nothing to break up._ ” Maybe he wanted to elaborate more, or maybe he sensed the confusion in Sokka. Either way, Zuko left out a long sigh and continued. “ _We are not together. We’ve never been for a fact. We’re friends, who sometimes have a little fun. That’s all_.” But he didn’t look really convinced when he spoke the word ‘fun’.

“ _Are you serious?_ ”

“ _Why wouldn’t I?_ ” Zuko snapped.

“ _I don’t know man. You two fight like a married couple._ ” he laughed after his words. _Why_ , he didn’t know. Maybe the tension he drew himself in had something with it. Luckily for him, Zuko didn’t seem to mind. Opposite to that, Sokka swore he could see the faintest of the smiles curled up in his lips. “ _Yeah, we do._ ” he spoke scratching the back of his neck. “ _I guess you could say the fun ended, and we’re not good at being friends._ ”

“ _So… you really called things off?_ ”

“ _Not exactly._ ” he frowned. “ _It’s… complicated._ ”

“ _Try it._ ” Sokka didn’t know why he was so insistent, or why he was being so forward for that matter when the two of them barely had any sustainable conversation in the last two years, but well, he didn’t lose anything for trying he supposed. Zuko seemed to be constricted, not sure if it was a good idea to elaborate or not. Sokka didn’t blame him. Afterall they barely spoke, and less about personal themes.

“ _Well…_ ” he started, dropping his gaze to his palms. “ _Mai has always been more of Azula’s friend than mine. I think I was a little stupid to think it would change because of whatever we had._ ”

“ _Do you like her?_ ” Sokka asked.

“ _Mai?_ ” he seemed torn in between his possible answers. “ _Yes, I do. I mean, I like her like a friend. As I said, there are no romantic feelings involved. We had our fun but that’s all._ ” he bit his lower lip, doubting about continuing the conversation. “ _I opened up too much, I guess. And everytime I do we end up fighting. It’s not her fault either. She is my_ **_sister_ ** _’s friend. She has a different view of… well the situation, and all._ ”

“ _Just because she’s your sister’s friend doesn’t mean she cannot listen to you too, y’know. Even if, whatever you had, wasn’t serious; it doesn’t mean you have to cut off every emotion._ ”

“ _Trust me, I know!_ ” he said a little too loud. Maybe we were entering dangerous territory. Sokka made a mental note to back up, not to pressure him. “ _As I said it’s complicated_.”

“ _Do you want to talk about it?_ ”

“ _I rather not._ ”

Sokka frowned, considering for a second to keep the conversation, but finally he decided to drop the topic. “ _Okay, Sozin._ ” he sighed. “ _Anyway, if you_ **_ever_ ** _feel like talking, just know I’m here. I may not be the smoothest guy, or friend_ —were they even friends? Their talk has been a little touchy but, again, it was like the first proper conversation he had with the guy so—, _or whatever; but I’m a good listener. Sort of._ ”

“ _Thanks, Sokka_ .” he slightly smiled while saying that, to which Sokka corresponded. Then, he slowly turned to his bed and leaned forward to it when Zuko’s voice interrupted him again. “ _By the way, next time you decide to knock yourself unconscious please give me a heads up. I almost had a heart attack when Suki brought you last night._ ” Sokka turned his head rapidly to Zuko, whose smile was now way larger than before. _What was he doing?_ he thought, 

_Wait, what did he say about Suki_?

“ _She brought me here?_ ”

“ _You don’t remember?_ ” There it was, that smile again. Zuko was definitely teasing him now. He deserved it, he had started it. “ _No. Well…, I remember being with her at the party. And maybe someone in the room. But I don’t remember who the person was, or how I arrived so… Sort of?_ ”

“ _You’re lucky she has a good music taste or otherwise I would have woken you up with a bucket of water._ ” 

“ _Thanks?_ ” he scratched his forearm nervously when it hit him. “ _Wait-- what do you mean she has…? I thought you said you were sleeping?_ ” Zuko bursted out laughing, leaning his back to the wall of his bed.

“ _You really don’t remember anything?_ ” he asked.

“ _I already said I don’t! What the hell are you talking about?_ ” 

“ _When you came back last night, she put you to sleep. Man she stayed while you were puking your guts out. Then she said she was leaving._ ” 

“ _Said?_ ”

“ _Yes. Next thing I know is I wake up in the morning and she’s still here._ ”

“ _Wait, what!? You’re saying Suki slept in here and I don’t remember a damn thing about it!?_ ”

“ _Oh, yeah._ ” he nodded. “ _I thought you’d remember, you were pretty curled up around her in the morning._ ”

“ _Oh c’mon! I don’t wanna know anything more!_ ” he screamed, both palms pressed against his 

ears.

“ _She didn’t seem to mind._ ” 

“ _What?_ ” he frowned, uncovering his hearing. 

“ _I said she didn’t seem to mind._ ”

“ _She said so?_ ”

“ _Not with words. But you didn’t let go and she didn’t even flinch._ ”

“ _Fuck_ .” he didn’t know what to say, or what to think. His mind was a blur. What the hell had happened last night, _what did he do last night_. If he ever had a chance… he must have blown it, for sure. 

“ _C’mon Sokka, I’m playing with you._ ” Zuko remarked, his gaze focused on him as he slightly lift his arms into the air. “ _I’m just saying…, she seems really nice._ ”

“ _She is awesome_.” he muttered.

“ _Then why the sad face?_ ” 

“ _Why? You tell me! You’re saying I was all curled around her while she was just here… talking to you? It seems like I’ve only messed things up_.”

“ _Are you kidding me?_ ”

“ _Why would I be, moron?_ ”

“ _Wow! Relax, dude._ ” he spitted, taken aback by Sokka’s outburst. “ _Yes I did say she stayed the night, but why do you say you screw things up?_ ”

“ _Because!_ ” he waved his arms in the air, unaware of what he was really trying to say. Then, as quickly as the previous movement, he sank his head into his palms. His elbows pressed upon his thighs.

“ _Because of what?_ ”

“ _Just because!_ ” he screamed against his palms, not wanting to maintain his gaze with the boy’s.

“ _Sokka…,_ ” he said softly, producing another sigh. “ _Suki wasn’t going to stay the night. She said it herself. Whatever… whatever you said or happened, it made her stay. She stayed for you._ ”

“ _You don’t know that._ ” he mumbled, now slightly lifting his head up.

“ _I barely know the girl and I just know, Sokka. Stop beating yourself up._ ” he said climbing back in his bed, spreading his arm towards his bedside table and taking his airphones. “ _Just so you know, I’m here whenever you want to talk._ ” he added, paraphrasing what no long ago Sokka said to him. That made a small grin grow in his face as he leaned into his mattress too. 

He was ready to shut his eyes and call the day off. Surprisingly, he felt a lot better than he had expected at the turn of the conversation. Even more surprisingly he felt he had underestimated Zuko all along and that he, in fact, could be a truly great friend. Even if somehow Sokka thought he didn’t consider himself as one. Just as he was about to set his playlist and doze over his pillows, a small vibration and the pop-up of a notification in his mobile screen got his attention. With a sudden urge, he directed a last glance at his roommate.

“ _Hey Zuko, how’d you feel about movie night tomorrow?_ ” Due to the lack of response, he was considering the boy had already put his music on, but just as he was going to do the same with his own, he heard a small chuckle from the opposite wall of the room and a short response.

“ _Count me in._ ”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIII! I'm so so sorry about the delay.  
> Originally, I wasn't going to post this bonus until I had written the next chapter, but college is starting this week and packing and moving back to the apartment (plus all the covid situation) had gotten far more exhausted than what I imagined.  
> I don't have a writting schelude, but I do try to post at least once a week, so I'm sorry for not doing it.  
> I don't know how I'd manage with university (i start tomorrow, so give me this week to find out) but I will try to mantain the weekly update!
> 
> Again, thanks for reading, and all comments and kudos are welcome!!
> 
> // Also,, as you may see Shira and Zuko's conversation go on from the previous chapter,, I wanted to say as is an oc and I won't be doing a lot of bonus scenes (okay maybe a few but definitely not all that I'd think or like) if you have any question about the characters or wanna know more about details that aren't said and all just ask!!


	7. Safe haven

“ _ Wha-- _ ” she tried to ask, but for some reason she didn’t understood her voice got trapped inside her throat. Somehow it seemed that wherever she went or whatever she did, the boy would be there. On one hand she liked that, more than she would admit; but on the other hand it made her being on edge, her nerves getting the best of her due to all the bottled up questions she was so not ready to let out just yet.

“ _ Hello, Zuko here. _ ” he muttered, almost unintelligible within the voices in the room. He looked startled, like a deer in front of a moving car; but it didn't surprise her at all. The four of them were staring at the door, at the boy. Not sure of what to say.

“ _ Wow, buddy. That was smooth _ .” Sokka scoffed, moving beside him and making his appearance next to the older boy. “ _ Hey guys. I brought a guest _ .”  — _ a very awkward one _ , he left unsaid— “ _ Hope you don’t mind. _ ”

Suki left out a giggle, motioning her hand in the air as an invitation; Aang gave the intruder a broad and sincere smile and Katara frowned a little, still a little shocked about the new addition.

“ _ As long as you brought extra snacks for the new mouth, I don’t give a fuck. _ ” it was Toph who broke the silence, adding an exaggerated shrug from her small shoulders.

“ _ Covered it _ .” Sokka answered by raising his arm and showing a couple of chip bags and other snacks. Not that the gesture would mean anything to the bitter girl who asked anyway. After the motion, he bopped his shoulder against the other boy’s back, forcing him to enter the still open room by tripping into it. “ _ What are you waiting for, Sozin? _ ”

The older left a sound emerge from his throat, something similar to a growl, but he recompose himself fast enough to enter the room without actually crashing onto the carpet.

Sokka entered behind him and closed the door behind them, walking towards the rest of the group who were still distributed all over the lounge.

“ _ So what are we watching? _ ” Toph spoke, not a single note of her tone lacking sarcasm as a small grin plastered on her lips. 

It seemed like her words were the cue the rest of them were waiting to start moving around the room to get a seat for themselves. Since they were a large group, —now with a last minute addition— there wasn’t enough space for them to sit on an actual piece of furniture meant for that so they have to divide between Katara’s bed and the floor beneath it. 

Somehow she found herself crushed in between her brother and her  **struggle** , also known as  _ Zuko _ . She was aware it wasn’t his intention to be sitting next to her, he saw his own struggles when he was choosing where to sit, following Sokka —who sat in between Katara and Suki, leaving no room for him at all—. So there were only two options, taking the floor next to the stranger with whitish eyes or one of the people he actually knew. Katara knew that  _ had _ to be the reason, yet it didn’t help her being less on edge.

It didn’t help her either the look Aang directed to him while he was sitting, even though he denied with a shake of his head when Zuko said he could take the seat. 

She dedicated a small smile to the younger boy, who mimicked the gesture and took his place next to Toph. If something bothered him at first, it only lasted a couple of seconds.

When everyone was settled and the lights were kept to the minimum, Katara took the courage to give the boy next to her one last peak. He was at the feet of her bed, one leg spreaded in front of him and the other on the floor, steadin and keeping him in place. She also noticed the space between both of their bodies. Whether the boy could easily be pressed against her, —something Katara was sure was far more comfortable— he had given her enough room and space. Or maybe he was doing it for himself. It didn’t really matter.

Once everyone was settled in their positions, the argument about what to watch started. As every other night, there were two sides clearly divided. On one side there was Sokka, suggesting a bad and stupid comedy after another; and on the other side there was Suki, throwing several horror titles onto the table. As always, Aang sided with Sokka and Toph with Suki —why does she do it when she barely understands what is happening on the screen through the descriptive audio? Because she loved to torture Sokka, Katara was sure.— And as every other night, it was Katara’s turn to resolve the tie. Or so she thought when she made her choice, not remembering that there was another person left to state their opinion. 

So this night, it remained a tie. Which led to more arguments. Which led to the decision of seeing both movies.

Since Aang had yet to do some paperwork for his classes, they decided to start with the lame comedy.

Finally, the last light remaining was put out and the movie started. 

Katara tried, really hard, not to take a look to her left, not to fixate her gaze upon the boy next to her, but she could help it just a few minutes. Once the barrier was down, she found herself stealing glances every little while almost unconsciously. That’s how she saw him, shifting his position several times, not comfortable at all. A part of her whished the reason was the pose he had, and not because he was there.

“ _ I don’t bite, you know? _ ” She whispered, slightly leaning over him; careful not to disturb the rest of the group or being heard. 

“ _ What? _ ” he asked, looking back at her like she had grown two heads.

She arched a brow, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her head. “ _ I said I don’t bite. _ ” She rolled her eyes. “ _ You’ve been moving since the movie started. _ ”

“ _ Oh. _ ” he answered. Just ‘ _ oh _ ’. He scratched the back of his neck, pursing his lips in a thin line. 

“ _ Hmm. _ ” she hummed, waiting for the boy to elaborate something more. When she realised he wasn’t going to give her other response, she talked again. “ _ There’s plenty of room, Zuko _ .  _ Just came closer _ .” She tried her best to hide the trembling in her voice, and judging by his reaction, the shock in his face; she thought she had succeeded. Or at least his own nervousness blocked hers.

Hesitantly, she watched him getting closer. Just barely, so he could fit both legs up in the bed, but still  _ closer _ . He shifted his position, reclining his back better against the wall behind them and Katara couldn't repress a smile. He looked like a fish out of the sea, like he was waiting for something to happen or snap at him.

“ _ Isn’t it better? _ ” she muttered, her head slightly tilt to face him. He mimeted her gesture and locked his eyes with hers for a second, then looked down at his hands on his lap. And even if the gesture was gone before it even started, Katara felt the shiver his gaze gave her all over her spine and tried to hide it.

“ _ Hmm _ .” was his only response, nodding slowly. 

She finally broke her staring —not that she had been staring at him, no; just checking if he was comfortable, nothing more— and fixated her gaze back to the screen. The first film was still on, and even when she wasn’t really paying attention to it she could tell there was still another hour or so ahead. She was internally counting the time for it to be over. It wasn’t like she didn’t like comedy films, she  _ does _ , but she was hating this one. The plot hadn’t made sense and even if comedies were supposed to be  _ fun _ , Katara was getting upset at how boring this one was. She was starting to question how his brother or Aang could really be enjoying the film a few scenes later when she felt the body at her left sliding against her frame —nearly crashing her—. She tried to fight the weight of his brother’s body just to find out it was partially Suki’s weight too.  _ Who choses a film just to fall asleep? _ , she fumed in her mind.

“ _ Trouble in paradise? _ ” a voice at her right side said, humor palpable at every syllable. She moved her gaze to the boy, her eyes shooting daggers at him, just to catch him with the stupidest —and cutest— smirk in his face. She nearly softened her face features at that smile, nearly.  _ Oh, c’mon; get yourself together Katara _ . “ _ I don’t bite, Katara _ .” That phrase, him quoting her own previous words, did make her low her angry glare and paint a frown in her face in its place. She was about to ask what he meant when she caught the movement of his hand beside her, patting the space between them. It wasn’t much space really, but it was far more space that she had between her body and his brother’s even before he started to squashed her. 

When she didn’t answer, he arched a brow at her, at which she responded with a roll of eyes. But this time she couldn’t hide the small smile that was formed in her lips, and for a moment she could swear she saw a mirrored one in the boy’s lips. She snaked under his brother and to the older’s body, their bodies now pressed. Even when she tried not to, she couldn’t not be aware of the sudden closeness. Her shoulder was against his, and so were her hip and thigh; all of them tingling with some kind of electricity.

_ She was definitely going insane, that’s it _ .

The movie was —finally— coming to an end when Katara dared to lay her head over Zuko’s shoulder. Due to his brother’s weight, she convinced herself, just so she wasn’t completely crushed.

“ _ Don’t you dare sleep on me too. _ ” he growled, and Katara felt his eyes over her forehead. 

She shifted her position, slightly tilting her head so she could face him but yet being pressed on his shoulder, and she knew she made a mistake when their gazes locked and the electricity from before was now like lighting on her spine. She thanked all the spirits and gods she knew for the darkness of the room as she started to be aware of the heat on her cheeks. “ _ It’s your own fault for choosing a boring film _ .” she teased, adding a click of her tongue after her statement.

“ _ My fault? _ ”

“ _ Ahem. _ ” she nodded. “ _ You chose comedy over terror. _ ” she pointed out, arching her right brow to emphasize.

“ _ So did your brother and the other guy. _ ” he gestured with his hand, the one that wasn’t pinned in between their bodies.

“ _ Yes, but they didn’t have the deciding vote. You did _ .” she pouted. “ _ And his name is Aang, by the way. The other girl, the one with the heavy swearing, is Toph. _ ” 

“ _ Noted _ .” he answered with a move of his head, turning his gaze first to one and then the other. “ _ But, _ ” he continued, “ _ even if I had the deciding vote, I didn’t choose the movie itself. It’s not my fault it’s a bad one. _ ”

“ _ Tell you what you need to sleep at night. _ ” she heard a chuckle after her words, which gave her enough confidence to continue her speech. “ _ Hey, it’s okay to be afraid of terror movies. They’re not for everyone _ .” she shrugged. She was no longer resting her head against him, but her body was still pressed against him and neither or them seemed eager to change that.

“ _ Oh, really? _ ” he almost laughed now, and Katara would have been lying if she didn’t find it one of the most beautiful sounds she had ever heard. She internally wondered how his actual laugh would sound —or make her feel—. “ _ You think I chose a comedy because I chicken out with the terror genre? _ ”

She straightened her posture, separating a little from the warmth of his body, her hand resting on his hand uncounscily. “ _ Why would you then? _ ”

“ _ Because most terror films suck. _ ” he was the one shrugging now. “ _ But after that attempt of comedy I’m positive whatever shitty film comes next would be a masterpiece in comparison _ .” 

She couldn’t help the laugh that bursted out her lips at his comment, almost hitting her head with the wall at her back with the sudden move of her upper body. This action made Sokka finally change his position, leaning now to the opposite side against a newly awake Suki; but Katara didn’t move from her place. She didn’t know why, but the warmth from Zuko’s body, being pressed against him; it made her feel the most comfortable she had been since a long time. It felt  _ right _ , and she didn’t comprehend why.

The film —finally— ended and Aang stood up while Suki scrolled over the terror genre catalogue in search for a good film. 

Katara saw how the boy narrowed his eyes slightly at her and then shaked his head, moving his eyes to the rest of the group and excusing himself out of the room in order to finish some class tasks he hadn't yet sent. 

They all mutter their goodbyes and immediately after Suki let out a shout, finally choosing a film and whispering something in Sokka’s ear that sounded totally like flirting. 

Against what she had expected, Zuko didn’t seem to flinch or bother at any of the scenes of the film; which made her realise he was really telling the truth and not trying to hide his fear. She was feeling slightly disappointed.

But her inner thoughts didn’t last much when a human-shaped grotesque creature jumped inside the screen over the main protagonist, its nails clutching against the floor in a horrend sound. She yelped and slightly bounced against the mattress, and then hid her face on the black-haired boy, her hand grabbing his arm in an almost too tight grip. She could feel the amusement in the boy as the laugh reverberated in his chest.

“ _ Shut up _ .” she muttered against his clothes. 

“ _ What? Are you scared? _ ” he asked sarcastically, his head tilted to face her. She wished she could erase the smirk in his face so she could erase the confusing sensations it sent all over her body. 

“ _ I am not _ .” she said now, opening her eyes. Well, technically open one eye, and looking at him, still in her hiding spot.

“ _ Looks like it _ .” he said and she just growled, which just caused him to chuckle again. “ _ You’re not even looking at the screen, Katara. _ ” he said with a soft voice that made her question if it was possible for a human to just combust out of thin air. 

At his words, she made an attempt to look back at the film, to prove how  _ wrong _ he was and how far from being  _ scared _ she was; but it only resulted in another scare scene which made her bounce back against him.

He laughed again, properly laughed; and Katara proved her previous thoughts of it being the most wonderful sound ever. She wanted to kill herself due to the embarrassment of her inner thoughts. 

Suddenly, she felt him shift against her body and was about to complain about it when she felt his arm enclosing her shoulders and pressing her slightly more against him.

She felt her face burn —her whole body to be precisely—, and had to remember herself to keep breathing in order to not pass out. She raised her head a little to give a look at the boy, which had his gaze fixated on the film; and gave another look with the corner of her eye to the rest of their companions, who seemed to be focused on their own worlds to be aware of the movement. Of their positions. Of what was happening.

_ But what was happening? _ She reclined her head again in the space under his arm and against his ribs, blocking another disgusting scene.  _ Nothing was happening,  _ Katara assured,  _ she was just scared of the film and he was trying to help her calming herself _ .  _ Yeah. That was all.  _ But then, what was the knot she felt at the mouth of her stomach. Why she felt her lungs fighting to breathe like she was under water.

She tried to block any thought and just leaned closer to the warmth, attempting from now and then to take glimpses of the film and try to follow the plot; but she found herself raising her gaze from time to time to the boy that was embracing her. 

And she found herself feeling  **_lighter_ ** than she has ever been. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Sokka yawned beside him on their way to their dorm’s room, somewhere mid sentence. But he didn’t know what he was saying before the yawn.

Damn he didn’t know what he had been saying since they left the previous room.  _ Her room _ .

He hadn’t been thinking, he remained himself. But for once in his life, that phrase didn't have a negative connotation. Quite the opposite. He hadn’t felt so comfortable with someone else’s presence either in a long time. Less if he thought about the physical contact itself.

But for some reason he couldn’t quite understand, he didn’t flinch at her contact. He didn’t doubt or didn’t feel awkward. It felt  _ right _ . Whatever right meant.

He had to contain himself from looking like a total idiot when she first leaned her head against his shoulder. And tried to control his breathing a bunch of numerous times along the rest of the night. When she leaned against him, when she grabbed his arm like her life depended on it. . . He couldn’t help embracing her around her shoulders then, even when he felt instantly terrified at what her reaction could be. Luckily, she just nested closer to him.

And when the film ended. . . Damn, he had regretted the second he had to let her go and stand up, but he had to. He barely knew her. She was his roommate’s sister. She was nothing but an acquaintance, maybe if he was lucky she could even be a  _ friend _ . But Zuko wasn’t a dreamer, and he had lost  _ hope  _ a long time ago. He knew, whatever his emotions were, they meant nothing.  _ They couldn’t mean anything _ . Because he barely knew her, because she wasn’t his friend, because she was too damn  **gorgeous** . Because girls like her don’t bother in giving guys like him a second look. 

In times like this he wondered how he had looked without the scar, sometime ago he even tried to picture himself in the mirror. But that was a long time ago, when he was merely a teenager; and he had already made peace with his scarred face.  _ More or less _ .

But then his mind flew back to that room, and that party; and the few moments he had crossed paths with the  _ girl in blue _ . Those few moments that felt like they had been stolen from another life, another Zuko. One that had a better life, maybe even a  _ happy _ one. But that wasn't his. No. In this life, Zuko had learnt  **happiness** wasn’t for him. And that the few moments he felt almost, nearly closed to being happy; something awful happened next.

He knew, even if she had given him her time, even if she dared to look at him twice and not run from him; he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t drive anyone to the dread life of his. Even if he wanted. Even if the part of his mind that was supposed to make rational decisions had been tremendously quiet lately.

He didn’t notice they had arrived at their door until Sokka cleared his throat in an exaggerated way, giving him an extrange way. Surely wondering what was in his mind.

But he couldn’t tell. Not to him, no to anyone. But especially not to him.

How could he, tell the only person that seemed to hand an olive branch in his direction, he may be stupidly and crashingly falling for her sister. 

Because even if he didn’t know how to describe what was happening, what was the meaning of the flutter in his chest or the knot in his stomach; he definitely felt like  **falling** . 

Falling dangerously and rapidly down unknown and terrorific territory.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again,, sorry! I'm trying to come with a plan to write in advance of classes so I can update the fic as I said once a week but I'm still adapting to this new covid college situation.
> 
> Also, I'm probably posting in the next chapter notes a little bit about the characters (such as age and careers) so you have the details about them.
> 
> Lastly, I don't know if any of you are wondering but, Katara and Aang are still together, yes; and I'm going to write more and explore more their relationship in the on going chapters. YET, Zuko knows nothing, he barely knows Katara and this is the first time he has been with the gaang (and won't be part of it for a few chapters more). No, I'm not planing on making this story about cheating, but about growing apart of your significant one. Again, I'm pretty new about it so, be patient.
> 
> Anyways! Thanks for reading and I hope you're enjoying the story so far!! <3


	8. Pretenders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes; Toph is still blind  
> No; she doesn't see the diary at the beggining, but her senses and Katara's reaction tells her is something 'weird'/'secret' so basically it

_ October, 15th: _

_ I saw Zuko again yesterday in the cafeteria and I almost trip over some freshman’s table _

_ I ~~don't want to know~~ I don’t know what’s happening to me  _

_ Luckily, he no one saw me;  _

_ still, I wanted to combust right there and right then _

_ I feel like I cannot face Aang. _

_ He is trying, I am trying _

_ But I still feel how I felt last months, _

_ I don’t know how to fix it ~~I don’t know if I want to fix it~~ _

_ I shou- _

“ _ Sugar Queen, what are you doing? _ ” Toph asked behind Katara’s back, who couldn’t help but yelp at the surprise.

“ _ I, I’m not doing anything _ .”

“ _ You’re writing something _ .” she pointed out, narrowing her eyes. “ _ It’s too early in the morning to be doing homework. And it didn’t sound like it anyways. _ ”

“ _Didn’t sound. . .? How long have you been here?_ ” Katara said horrified, her cheeks turning dark red. _She couldn’t…? Could she?_ But the expression on Toph's face was saying otherwise. Oh _my god, was she talking out loud?_ Katara internally screamed.

“ _ Oh, just enough. _ ” she answered with a devilish smile. “ _ What is it that you don’t want to fix? _ ”

_ Oh, she could _ ; Katara thought. “ _ I’m not doing anything _ .” Katara stated, defensively holding the notebook against her chest. The gesture wasn’t needed, not really. Toph couldn’t read anything on the pages anyway, but she felt caught nonetheless.

“ _ Yeah, yeah _ .” The youngest answered crossing her arms over her chest. “ _ Secretive much, hmm, Sugar Queen? Do I have to start an investigation _ ?”

Katara felt the blood on her face drain at the connotation of the other girl’s ‘ _ joking _ ’. She knew it wasn’t a threat really, but when Toph wrapped her mind around something, she wouldn’t stop until she unrevealed it. And she was far from sure of knowing Suki would jump at the opportunity without second thoughts too.

If they found the diary, Katara was  **done** for good. 

“ _ Whatever, Toph _ .” she answered trying to show as calm as she could, but knowing Toph, she would call her bluff. “ _ I have to go to class, see you at lunch _ .” She continued, carefully hiding the notebook inside her bag. She detested carrying it around, she felt like anyone could grab it and read her deepest secrets; but right now she hadn’t an  _ alternative _ . Not at least until some time passes and the blind girl forgets about this morning.  _ If she ever does _ .

Oh, it was going to be a  _ hell _ of a day.

And not just because of Toph.

After her rough start in the morning, Katara felt her energy almost drain completely out of her body as the classes went by; finally being able to have a break after lunch. 

As she expected, Toph tried to bring the topic back, which did caught Suki’s attention as Katara suspected. With a long sigh she dismissed their questions, trying her best to maintain a stoic temple. What she last needed right then was to be questioned about what she implied in her diary’s pages; just as little as she knew in the party last week. 

Katara loves her friends, she really does; but she also knows them like they were her own blood, and she knew where that conversation would lead them if she allowed it. And she didn’t need that in the moment. Not right before she was supposed to meet with Aang.

She didn’t need more doubts, didn’t need more guilt. She needed to expend time with her  _ boyfriend _ , and needed to prove herself and her doubting that she was being stupid. That nothing was wrong. That  _ everything _ was in her  **mind** .

It was wednesday, and that meant free pies at her favorite café. One of her favorite traditions with Aang from before she departed to her internship. So it is, she decides, a good way to start again. Because when she gives it enough though, it really does feel like  _ starting over _ , instead of just  _ continuing _ . Because she knows, even if she doesn’t want to, that something  **broke** along the way, that something  _ stopped _ . But it didn’t mean that the love was gone, no. She knew she  **loved** Aang, and she knows she does love him now too; she just  —she concluded— needed to learn their path again. They just have to work things out again.

So she puts her best effort in her mission. 

After classes and lunch, she recludes herself in her room, takes a long shower and starts working on her make-up. She ultimately decided to take a casual look, nothing to fancy nor elaborated. A little brownish-cream eye shadow that sharpened a little the outer corner of her eyes and some mascara, the look completed by a pinkish gloss.

When she takes a look at herself in the mirror, and decides she’s good to go; she twists and hurries to her wardrobe. She makes her choice when her eyes are laid in a plain white mini-skirt and a blue laced blouse. The outfit is completed by a pair of thigh-up shockers and converse. She decided it balanced the formal and non-formal of her clothing choice with that.

Once finished, she finds herself bouncing over the room; not quite sure why she’s so nervous. It’s not their first time, their first date.  _ Damn _ , they hadn’t had a first anything in years; she realised. 

But even if that’s the case, she cannot quite shake the feeling of it being a  _ first something _ . Maybe a new beginning, maybe a rejoined relationship. She doesn’t know.

But she knows that’s what she needs to silence the voice in the back of her head saying that this is a mistake, that she is trying too much. Because she knows she is not. She hadn’t tried at all, she remembers. She had practically been running from being alone with Aang since she arrived. 

Yes, they had kissed a couple times, he had held her hand too; but the feeling of emptiness, the voice saying something is missing; it had scared her and pushed her away.

So she decided she wasn’t running anymore. She decided she wanted this to work so she was going to make it work.

They had agreed in meeting there after classes due to their different schedules; so with one last peek at the mirror, Katara grabbed her purse with a-last-minute-checking and stomped out the room key in hand. 

The café is outside the campus surroundings, but not really far from it. It’s about a fifteen minute walk and Katara has always enjoyed the walking, especially at that time of the year.

The chill october breeze hit her face and body, and although anyone would have made a different fashion choice due to the temperature, Katara has always loved the cold, and loved to pursue it while it was still bearable against her exposed skin.

She made her way to the cafeteria in little time, Aang already sitting in their usual spot.

With a long sigh, reassuring herself that  _ everything _ was  _ okay _ , that everything was  _ in her mind _ ; she opened the glass door and let herself enter the diner.

She sat in front of her boyfriend with a smile, adjusting her skirt against the chair. 

“ _ Hey. _ ” she said.

“ _ Wow, Katara _ .” was his answer. She felt her cheeks grew warmer and she couldn’t refrain from the smirk that formed in her face.  _ This is good _ , she thought,  _ this is  _ **_normal_ ** . 

“ _ Thanks Aang. _ ”

They quickly placed their orders, and didn’t last long to dip in their desserts. Katara couldn’t suppress the small smile that formed in her face, formed both by the familiarity of the situation and the relief of it. She gave her companion a thoughtful glance, for once in all these months being able to quiet the disturbing thoughts and feelings towards their relationship. It was, in a time like this, when she  _ almost _ believed everything was back to normal, everything was  _ meant to be _ . Almost.

Because just as she thought that everything was right, it started to feel all wrong.

The calm conversation the both younglings were engaged in was rapidly taking a turn. As the time passed inside of the little café, Katara couldn't help but begin to feel very little with each second passing. Everytime she tried to make a comment, share a memory about her internship; she was cut out by Aang’s incessant babbling. 

She couldn’t help the anger bottling inside her either.

She knew he had no malice in the gesture, she knew him enough for that; but even if it wasn’t purposely aimed for damage, she couldn’t shake the feeling.

She tried to follow the conversation, the stories her boyfriend kept narrating in front of her, but from time to time her mind would drive very far away from the café. It was then when her doubts and fears resurged, when the little voice at the back of her head sang what she was trying to avoid. ‘ _ Everything has changed, don’t you see _ ’. 

She tried to shut it out, she tried to focus on the smiling boy in front of her, but that action didn’t help silence the voice. She was striked with how little Aang had changed in her absence.  _ But, was that really a bad thing?  _ Katara thought. It wasn’t. Not the fact itself. But as she tried to listen to the childish plays and the dumb jokes her boyrfriend was narrating, she couldn’t shake the feeling of distance growing larger and larger. 

‘ _ He hasn’t changed, but you have. _ ’ the voice sing-sang again. And just like that, she realised all the emails she had sent to Suki and Toph, all the nights mulling over her relationship. It wasn’t the physical distance that crumbled her stability, but the  _ psychological _ . 

While she had grown and matured, she realised the boy in front of her was still that. A boy. 

And even if he was barely younger than her, she was aware that her life had made her grew up faster. 

But what scared her the most wasn’t that sudden realisation. It was the fact that the feeling wasn’t strange to her at all. It was just intensified.

From the beginning of their relationship, she realised, that her dynamic was morely similar to a mother-child dynamic that what was expected from a partnership.

And just the thought made her feel dizzy.

She was terribly relieved when the ‘date’ came to an end, excusing herself quickly to her dorm. She didn’t want to part this way, she had planned for this to have a different outcome; but she was afraid that if she stayed, if she remained with Aang at that moment; her frustration and her inner turmoil would  **break** her. She already felt the  **burning** behind her eyes. And she wasn’t going to cry.

She would have too much to explain  _ if _ she did.

It didn’t take long to be back on her building. She barely even cared about greeting the people she came across, merely plasting a fake smile on her face on her walk by the corridor. She didn’t nearly notice her brother on the other side of the hall, a weird expression on his face while he walked to where Suki was standing and talking with Haru next to her door, a plastic bag clutched on her hands. She didn’t bother going to them.

If something was happening, she would find out next morning.

And if they saw her and found something weird in her behaviour, that’s on them. She didn’t feel like explaining. She just wanted to lay on her bed and sulk for the night.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first things first: I'm so so sorry for the delay. I don't really know if any of you would ever bother to read this or if any of you really care about the story bUT, i'm really sorry  
> I promised to post weekly but, apparently I understimate what living alone for the first time ever + covid time was about. I'd tell you, a really bad mix.  
> Anyway, I've been with a lot of anxiety recently and that was the main reason this chapter last so long to finally see the light, that and the fact that even if I tried I really can do Kataang (and fluff either, at least if I force the idea and it does not come to me by itself), sooooo
> 
> I hope you like this mess, even if is shorter than I'd like and way less explicit that I intended to be but nothing else came up to my mind.
> 
> Also,, is halloween time! So good thing is that you'd have a halloween special.   
> The fact about the delay too is that I have a couple more chapters figured out (that's why you'd have a halloween special on halloween instead of waiting another week to post), but I got stucked in this chapter so that's the main reason I hadn't post anything.
> 
> I also would be participating in the fanwork zutara week so, expect more zutara one-shots from me!
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you; and again, I'm so sorry.


	9. SORRY FOR THE DELAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note from the author, with love.

Again, college is back to make my life hell. 

I have half the next chapter wrapped from Halloween, and it’s a long one; but I have the ending and the “interesting” parts yet to be added and I hope the wait is worthy. 

Also, this week starts the zutara fanwork appreciation week so I’m going to try to post it (finally!!) among it, but I’m also trying to write like 6 different fics in the span of 8 days + doing my college assignations + study for my finals so... I’d do my best. 

Again, sorry; and also thank you for standing my procrastinating ass <3


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